My Energy Crisis, Part 1: Thyroid

This is me: I’m tired.

This is me: I feel like someone sucked the soul out of my body.

This is me: I feel like a walking corpse.

This is me: How do I make it through an entire day without drinking diet pop? Because me making it through the afternoon requires diet pop. REQUIRES. OK maybe tea. But still, caffeine or not functional.

I’ve NEVER had energy. Never. I have to drink coffee BEFORE I can get ready in the morning. And I’ve always had a hard time losing weight. And I’m never not hungry. And I always have low vitamin D. And I’m usually cold.

And like every fat girl, I have always secretly hoped that I had a thyroid problem (and wasn’t to blame, wasn’t lazy, actually did have an uphill battle, etc.). So every time I get a blood test at the doctor, I ask to have my thyroid checked. And every time, it comes back normal. But that blood test only measures one thing, and it’s not very specific. And I have a friend who’s life has been drastically improved by getting her thyroid tested by a professional. And there is a history of thyroid issues in my family (grandmother, uncle). So I finally went to an ENDOCRINOLOGIST to find out for real, once and for all.

Well guess what.

There are two categories of thyroid that your body produces. T4 (which is the big one, 90%, does most of the things) and T3 (smaller one, 10%, converted from T4, affects energy and mood). And apparently my body straight up DOES NOT MAKE T3. I am not crazy or lazy. I have hypothyroidism. OK then!

So I’ve been taking T3, and now I am closer to having normal-person energy.

And I’m working on getting rid of the Coke Zero habit.

So if you can swing it, and you feel like the walking dead most of the time, work on sleeping better, and maybe go see an endocrinologist. Your life could get a lot better. THERE IS HOPE IN THE WORLD!!!

 

 

Athleta Pretend Shopping Spree

Hey there.  Sorry I’ve been MIA. It’s because:

1. I haven’t been shopping much because day care is really fucking expensive. Like, more than my post-grad education-expensive. Not kidding. #americawehaveaproblem

2. I’ve been busy working because, see 1.

3. I haven’t been working out because I HAVE HAD A STUPID SINUS INFECTION FOR OVER HALF THE YEAR. No joke. You know how you feel when you have half a cold, and aren’t really snotting all over anymore, but your head is full of pudding and you can’t think straight and you also feel like someone is sucking 70% of your life force out of you at all times? That’s me. Most of this year. It’s not cool.

I have, however, become a Ketonian, which I’d love to tell you about, and will, soon, but not now. More important? Fall fitness fashion.

Pretend shopping spree at Athleta:

You KNOW I love me some Athleta. I’m wearing Chaturanga Capris and the Daily Tank right now, with my murdered-out Nike Frees.

fullsizerender-4

So for this fall, Athleta is introducing some Shapey/Supporty stuff called Sculptek. But I don’t care. At least not right now.

What I do care about is:

The HIGH NECK STRIPE CHI TANK because it’s basically what I’m already wearing, but in a cute stripe. If I had to uniform it for the rest of my life, I would have to just admit that it’s tunics and leggings for me. Has been since I was 13.

screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-8-51-38-am

The SCOUT SLIP ON BY DR. SCHOLLSNEW WAVE BY OBTB, and SODA JOGGER BY ASH because when I commute to the city for an on-site gig, I have to walk a mile from the train station to the office, hauling a computer. And that’s when shit gets real. Gotta have #cuteworkshoes

screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-8-52-54-amscreen-shot-2016-09-07-at-8-54-30-amscreen-shot-2016-09-07-at-8-55-24-am

 

THE ANYTIME BRA because when I’m not working on-site, I’m usually athelisure-style because it’s still sweltering here and even walking the dog equals sweating. And sweating in a real bra is GROSS.

screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-8-58-41-am

THE LASER MESH SONAR CAPRI because I’m kind of low on pants that really stay up, and I’m trying to start running again. And they’re fucking cool. screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-00-30-am

THE CIRCUIT CAPRI because they seem even more serious about their “not fall down” nature with their elastic topped high-rise waistband.screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-01-52-am

 

THE LEA WEDGE BY SOREL because they were my clients, and I love them, and that boot is awesomely rugged/ rustic/ and futuristic at the same time. Oh, and waterproof. (See city walking needs above.)

screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-05-41-am

 

And of course, the GLEAM TIGHT 2.0 and SUEDE  because let’s be honest, unless I’m going to the city I’m probably not wearing pants. Half the time. At least. screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-08-27-am

HAPPY FALL FASHION SEASON!

Oh, and I went to Luluelmon yesterday and peeked around. They have what look like could be some powerful running tights, but they’ve jacked up their prices again, so I just said WELL FUCK YOOOOOU, THEN and walked out. $150 for running tights, guys. That’s like, five minutes of day care. Too expensive.

F-YEAH! NIKE

Let’s pause for a commercial break. Literally. In real life, I am an advertising Copywriter/ Creative Director, and I’ve worked on a lot of sports brands (adidas, Nike, the WTA, ESPN, Fox Sports, etc.) The Olympics are starting today and that means HERE COME THE BIG SPORTS ADS! For me, it’s like the Superbowl of Superbowl ads for the Superbowl of all sports.

And Nike, or rather their advertising agency, Wieden and Kennedy just BROUGHT IT.

Get stoked, people. Sport is happening. Whoo!

 

 

Pretend Shopping Spree: Reebok

Like I said in my previous article about Reebok, I have a lot of respect for this funky, gritty, true to itself brand. They’re doing great work right now. And they’re making some great looking workout wear. For to enjoy: Reebok.

1. Combat Bralette $60 2. CrossFit High Impact Bra $70 3. Reebok X Tristan Eaton Collage Tight $65  4. Dance Shattered Glam Tight $55  5. Cardio Woven Jacket $110  6. Reebok X Face Stockholm $50

About writing the Impossible is Nothing manifesto.

IIN Vert mantra MEDIUM SIZE GOOD FOR SQU SP

Nope. Sorry internet. Muhammad Ali didn’t write this. I did.

 

Muhammad Ali was a singular, iconic, inspiring, and brave athlete, activist, and poet. It is sad that he has passed away, but it’s wonderful that the world is revisiting all of his accomplishments and what he stood for. He was right. He was the greatest. And he said a lot of smart, funny, inspiring, and just plain badass things. However, this is not a Muhammad Ali quote. The Impossible is Nothing manifesto was a long copy ad for Adidas, written to introduce the Impossible is Nothing campaign. I know because I wrote it.  

In real life, I am a copywriter. Like Peggy and Don on Madmen. I was working at TBWA\Chiat\Day (a partner agency to 180 Amsterdam) on the global adidas account, and it was my job to write a manifesto to help sell the “Impossible is Nothing” tagline and campaign, (which written by Boyd Coyner) to adidas. If it sounds like Ali could have said it, it should. I knew he was the hero athlete for the campaign, so I was writing something that had to fit with that iconic photograph of him towering over Sonny Liston. And lead into Boyd’s amazing tagline.

I’ll be honest with you. I was brushing my teeth, thinking about the tagline, and the “big word small man” phrase came to me and it wrote itself from there. I went in to work that morning, my boss said “we need a manifesto,” I sat down to write, and I handed it over to him before lunch. Sometimes that’s how writing happens. But it never happens like that without a great idea first. Boyd’s “Impossible is Nothing” was the idea. My bosses knew that was the idea we had to sell. Everybody knew that was the idea to sell. We just needed the rest of the words to sell it. So I wrote them.

I’ve been hesitating writing anything about this because, well, it’s tacky. But on the other hand, I haven’t stood up for myself enough over my career. (Maybe because I’m a woman, and we’re taught to see THAT as tacky. Or bitchy. Or both.) This ad wasn’t entered into any advertising award shows. The TV got recognition, (remember Laila Ali boxing Muhammad Ali?) but not the print or outdoor, which is what this was. Nobody in the industry even knows that I wrote this, unless they know me. And now that it’s getting more and more “internet famous,” I’m in a really weird spot. Muhammad Ali is getting credit for my work slash people believe my words came out of his mouth. That. Does not. Suck. That is incredibly flattering. On the other hand, my work is famous, but my name is invisible. In an industry that is all about publicity. So what’s an AdWoman to do? I’ve been doing nothing. But both doing nothing and doing something have their drawbacks. So what I’m doing is now something in between: I’m writing this, here, where all of five people will see it.

I mean, call me crazy, but it would be nice if my name came up in a search associated with the Impossible is Nothing manifesto. (It doesn’t.)  It would also be nice if ESPN, Sports Illustrated,  People Magazine, USA Today, , Business Insider, Goodreads, The Daily Mirror, and even David Beckham (who also had those words on a picture of HIM in the SAME CAMPAIGN!) (btw, it also ran on images of Laila Ali) did more than a google image search when researching things they’re calling quotes.

impossibleisnothingScreen Shot 2016-07-15 at 8.40.42 AMB96F4QMIEAEm_a9adidas-image-campaign-laila-ali-small-95947

Anyway.

Muhammad Ali had his own way with words. He lived impossibilities. He gave no fucks in the bravest fashion. He was bigger than a person. He was an idea.

What’s my favorite Ali quote? I don’t know. 1. because there are so many and 2. I really don’t want to misquote or miscredit. But, this is on the official MuhammadAli.com and they should know:

“I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.” -Muhammad Ali

That seems to have been his personal manifesto. Not everyone can say the first part. I can’t. But the second part, that belongs to everyone. Everyone can say that. Everyone should.

R.I.P. G.O.A.T.

Thanks for reading.

-Aimee Lehto Schewe

VSX X JEM & THE HOLOGRAMS

Holy shit. This is truly outrageous.

Victoria’s Secret Sport has a line of sports bras based on Jem and the Holograms.

I mean, they might not KNOW that they did it. But they totally did it.

I introduce to you the “Incredible” by Victoria’s Secret sports bra.

Screen Shot 2016-07-01 at 11.10.42 AM

Jerrica_benton_jem

RIGHT??????

But wait. There’s more!!!

PIZAZZZ!

 

SYNERGY!

 

KIMBER!

 

Of course, my fitstyle is more

JETTA!

But whatever.

Thank you VSX for that surprising bit of joy I had trying on sports bras yesterday.

 

 

NEW NIKE FREES!

Ohhhhh SNNNAAAAAP! Nike’s got some new additions to the Nike Free fam. They’re called the Nike Free RN Distance (RN = Running) and Nike Free RN Commuter. (I am a huge fan of Nike Frees. They’re like wearing slippers, they’re one of the few Nikes that don’t have a pointy narrow toe box, and I wear them all day, every day. I only take them off when I have to wear “real” shoes or when I run or train. And when I train, I usually wear Nike Free TRs, WHICH ARE ALSO GREAT!)

Nike Free RN Distance Distance! So, probably cushioning that doesn’t break down as quickly as the typical Nike Frees. And probably a wee bit of support. SOLD! Oh wait. There’s no solid black. UNSOLD! Bummer.  Screen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.36.59 AMScreen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.35.53 AMScreen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.36.16 AM

Nike Free RN CMTR What does “commuter” mean? It means that the upper is totally flat-packable so you can throw it in your work bag when you need to switch to your office-appropriates. Which in itself is kind of sad, right? Dudes wear sneakers to work all the time and it is not seen as sloppy at all. I’m going to make an effort to make sneakers work with my work clothes. #genderequality y’all. Oh, they do have CMTRs for men, too. I guess the other benefit is not taking up as much space in your gym bag. Sigh. Schlepping a gym bag. That makes me sad too. I love having a home gym.

Screen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.48.54 AMScreen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.49.17 AMScreen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.49.40 AM

So, after all that, what did I buy?

My 8th? 9th? 10th? I lost count pair of Nike Free Runs. Mostly because they come in BLACK ON BLACK!!! right now. I love black soles. I love black laces. I love Nike Frees.

Screen Shot 2016-06-15 at 9.50.22 AM

Side note: What the fuck with the rest of the colors, Nike? The white on white is cool if you’re into white shoes. But the rest of them…Are you purposely making ugly basic colorways so we have to pay more to Nike ID a pair that actually looks cool? Not cool, bro. But thank you for finally making black on black! I’ll buy 1-2 pairs a year, forever.

 

Current obsession: Short sleeved sweatshirts

Ever since I saw those two short sleeved men’s Nike sweatshirts in January, I’m all about it. I don’t own one, but I really want one. Even though I kind of suspect you have to be a string bean to really rock one the right way…We shall see. We shallllll seeeeee…

Oh, and I did try #2 from Everlane, but it didn’t fall right on me. It hit at the hip and folded instead of hanging/ swinging.

  1. L.L.Bean 2. Everlane 3. Kanye West for A.P.C. 4. J.Crew 5.Nike 6. Everlane 7. Nike      8. Nike 9. Adidas by Stella McCartney 10. Adidas

Day 1 of #makesweatcrychallenge

Screen Shot 2016-06-07 at 2.58.10 PM.png

Yes, I’m doing a 30 day challenge. No, I’m not following a nutrition plan. But yes I am going to try to re-arrange my food style from Mostly Proteins and Fats with some produce to Mostly Produce with proteins and fats. Because, duh.  I know that’s right. We all know it’s right. It’s just DOING the right thing that’s the thing. So. 30 days of actually really doing the thing.

And yes, obviously I had pizza last night because that’s what you do the night before Day 1. Key to success. Everybody knows that.