Lululemon Jacket Round Up

I had a “treat yo self” moment this week and an hour to kill, so I went in to Lululemon to buy me a jacket. (Because Athleta has shit for jackets right now. Waiting for some new options for spring, but…right now there’s nada.) So for your virtual shopping pleasure, here are some Lululemon Jacket Reviews.

First I tried the Define Jacket, which is super popular. (Don’t judge my footwear, I was heading to a meeting after this. And yes I have giant water-ski clown shoes for feet.)

Here’s what you need to know about the Lululemon Define Jacket:

  • it’s tight AF
  • it doesn’t cover your ass
  • but it comes in the best patterns they have in the store

 

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Lululemon Define Jacket

 

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Lululemon Define Jacket

 

Then I tried the Round Trip Jacket. I was curious about this one because of the almost empire waist detail, hour-glass friendly cut, and interesting gathered material panel in the back. But…

Here’s what you need to know about the Lululemon Round Trip Jacket:

  • The material is really thin
  • The front seems kind of blah
  • But the back is as cute as it looks in pictures
  • It covers your ass
  • Yes I’m cross-eyed and have a double chin, apparently

 

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Lululemon Round Trip Jacket

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Lululemon Round Trip Jacket

 

Then I tried the Stride Jacket II. Which is what I was really there for, because I own three jackets in the same shape/ length, and that’s what I’m most comfortable in.

Here’s what you need to know about the Lululemon Stride Jacket II:

  • The fabric is thinner than past versions
  • (most lulu reviews, for all products, bitch about the declining quality of all of their fabrics)
  • The colors are super boring and limited and I’m mad about it
  • I mean, can we be done with this heathered burn-out thing already? Can we do something else please? Does spandex only come in heathered basicness? C’mon.
  • But it covers your ass the most
  • It’s the longest jacket you can get at Lulu
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Lululemon Stride II Jacket

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Lululemon Stride II Jacket

 

I also tried the Sleek Essentials Jacket. It seemed…simpler and thinner than most Lulu jackets. It’s a more affordable Lulu jacket. But I didn’t like it more because it was tight and short.

Lululemon Sleek Essentials Jacket

  • cheaper
  • feels and looks cheaper
  • short and tight-ish
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Lululemon Sleek Essentials Jacket

 

 

I also tried the Gait Keeper Jacket. Which you would think I would like because it’s basically got a peplum (read: pear and hour-glass friendly). It really sticks out in the back, almost like a bustle, which makes it pretty unique and interesting and style-y. But the cut is higher in the front. And the front’s a little plain. So…meh. Not good enough.

Lululemon Gait Keeper Jacket

  • Cool peplum detail in the back
  • Covers your ass
  • Short and plain in the front

 

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Lululemon Gait Keeper Jacket

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Lululemon Gait Keeper Jacket

 

So I ended up with…what I already have, what I know I’m comfortable in: a really long, looser-cut jacket. But now I have a lighter-weight one for running and spring time running around. Now…if they had the Stride II in the cool black and white blizzardy pattern that the Define jacket comes in…then I’d be really stoked! HEAR ME LULU? Y’ALL SHOULD MAKE LONGER JACKETS IN COOLER PATTERNS. WE WILL BUY THEM SHITS.

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Public service announcement: The Contour Jacket looks like another pretty long option. I didn’t get to try that one. It’s online only and sold out in my size in black, because of course. Maybe if I can’t bring myself to settle for the boring ass color of the Stride Jacket, I’ll return it and order a blue Contour Jacket. Maybe. But you know how I feel about color…so probably not.

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Lululemon Contour Jacket

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Lululemon Contour Jacket

 

And if you’re into long jackets like I am, I’m still liking my Stronger Hoodie from Athleta. Although I think mine might be a CYA (cover your assets) length, which they don’t seem to have right now. Mine’s pretty damn long. But at any rate, it’s a warmer, cozier, fleece-lined option.

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Stronger Hoodie from Athleta

 

 

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New from Lulu

Hey! Lululemon has some stuff that’s right up my alley right now! Like: baggy tops that might actually almost cover your butt, a hoodie that isn’t purple or sad light grey, and a bathing suit top with a peplum, which is a GREAT idea because muffin tops do still exist. Yay!

  1. Scuba Hoodie IV in Chakra Print Alpine White and Black $118
  2. Love Tank $38
  3. Low Key Tank $44
  4. Body Con Bra $58
  5. Hot Like Agni Singlet $58
  6. Paddle Times Peplum $98

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Carbon 38 Pretend Shopping Spree

So Carbon 38 has an end of season sale going on...Here’s what I’d like to buy with all of my imaginary cash.

1. Roselynn Embroidered Pullover by Good Hyouman $49

This sweatshirt says “My sweater is better than yours.” The end.

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2. Scoop Tank by Sundry $56

I don’t know why ripped shirts look rich. They just do. Sign me up.

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3. Ryval Performance Tight by Splits 59 $76

Yes, light grey workout pants should just plain not exist, because butt sweat. However, the stripey sporty mountain ranger game going on at the bottom of these is so good I kind of love them.

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4. Black Python Joggers by Blue Life Fit. $124

My argument for these is as follows: THEY’RE BLACK PYTHON JOGGERS!

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5. Run Striped Sweater by Adidas by Stella McCartney $119

Burgundy and bright blue is an advanced styling move and I like it. Plus it’s boxy and cropped and a little bit shiny. This is an aggressively playful look and I’m in.

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Athleta Pretend Shopping Spree

Hey there.  Sorry I’ve been MIA. It’s because:

1. I haven’t been shopping much because day care is really fucking expensive. Like, more than my post-grad education-expensive. Not kidding. #americawehaveaproblem

2. I’ve been busy working because, see 1.

3. I haven’t been working out because I HAVE HAD A STUPID SINUS INFECTION FOR OVER HALF THE YEAR. No joke. You know how you feel when you have half a cold, and aren’t really snotting all over anymore, but your head is full of pudding and you can’t think straight and you also feel like someone is sucking 70% of your life force out of you at all times? That’s me. Most of this year. It’s not cool.

I have, however, become a Ketonian, which I’d love to tell you about, and will, soon, but not now. More important? Fall fitness fashion.

Pretend shopping spree at Athleta:

You KNOW I love me some Athleta. I’m wearing Chaturanga Capris and the Daily Tank right now, with my murdered-out Nike Frees.

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So for this fall, Athleta is introducing some Shapey/Supporty stuff called Sculptek. But I don’t care. At least not right now.

What I do care about is:

The HIGH NECK STRIPE CHI TANK because it’s basically what I’m already wearing, but in a cute stripe. If I had to uniform it for the rest of my life, I would have to just admit that it’s tunics and leggings for me. Has been since I was 13.

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The SCOUT SLIP ON BY DR. SCHOLLSNEW WAVE BY OBTB, and SODA JOGGER BY ASH because when I commute to the city for an on-site gig, I have to walk a mile from the train station to the office, hauling a computer. And that’s when shit gets real. Gotta have #cuteworkshoes

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THE ANYTIME BRA because when I’m not working on-site, I’m usually athelisure-style because it’s still sweltering here and even walking the dog equals sweating. And sweating in a real bra is GROSS.

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THE LASER MESH SONAR CAPRI because I’m kind of low on pants that really stay up, and I’m trying to start running again. And they’re fucking cool. screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-00-30-am

THE CIRCUIT CAPRI because they seem even more serious about their “not fall down” nature with their elastic topped high-rise waistband.screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-01-52-am

 

THE LEA WEDGE BY SOREL because they were my clients, and I love them, and that boot is awesomely rugged/ rustic/ and futuristic at the same time. Oh, and waterproof. (See city walking needs above.)

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And of course, the GLEAM TIGHT 2.0 and SUEDE  because let’s be honest, unless I’m going to the city I’m probably not wearing pants. Half the time. At least. screen-shot-2016-09-07-at-9-08-27-am

HAPPY FALL FASHION SEASON!

Oh, and I went to Luluelmon yesterday and peeked around. They have what look like could be some powerful running tights, but they’ve jacked up their prices again, so I just said WELL FUCK YOOOOOU, THEN and walked out. $150 for running tights, guys. That’s like, five minutes of day care. Too expensive.

Pretend Shopping Spree: Reebok

Like I said in my previous article about Reebok, I have a lot of respect for this funky, gritty, true to itself brand. They’re doing great work right now. And they’re making some great looking workout wear. For to enjoy: Reebok.

1. Combat Bralette $60 2. CrossFit High Impact Bra $70 3. Reebok X Tristan Eaton Collage Tight $65  4. Dance Shattered Glam Tight $55  5. Cardio Woven Jacket $110  6. Reebok X Face Stockholm $50

Oh, Sweaty Betty.

Sweaty Betty, London’s answer to Lulu, sent me another catalog today. I got it and thought “Hmm. Maybe this is the time I’ll actually order something.” They have great style. And every catalog comes with a 30% off code and free shipping, which takes a little bit of the sting out. So I sat down with an open mind and an open wallet.

Man did they fuck up.

They have just hiked up all of their prices from “yeesh” to “Fuck You.”

First page: Yellow “Free Style Tee.” Oversized tee with an open crossover back in lightweight fabric. (polyester.) $100.

Wait. What?

I thought $68 for a Lululemon tank was expensive, but at least I could rationalize it because the fabric is so thick and flattering and the cut hides my armpit fat.

But this is a leap, man. $100 for a fucking oversized YELLOW of all colors T-shirt?

Did Alexander McQueen come back from the dead and hand-distress it himself?

Is it woven completely out of the clippings swept up off the floor after Princess Kate gets her hair trimmed?

Is the yellow color made of dye that is squeezed out of canary feathers by artisan feather color squeezers, trained in the old way?

Does the open crossover back enable its wearer to literally fly?

Will wearing it cause Ryan Gosling/ Ryan Reynolds/ Whoever you like to appear before you to give you a pedicure?

Did the Mulleavy sisters (Rodarte) spit on it and then put it in a ziplock back that was on a shuttle that orbited the earth for twelve and a half years so it could get that perfect provenance and je ne sais quoi?

I mean, this is not a T-shirt put out by a label that has spent decades if not generations influencing fashion and art, and thereby kind of sort of able to sell a T-shirt for $100 because they’ve fucking earned it. This is a yellow polyester T-shirt for sweating in.

Did they put it there as a test to see if anyone was paying attention? Or did they just hike up the price like that because ladies who can buy your stuff don’t look at prices so why not take more of that money? Oh. Yeah. That’s what they did. And that’s really fucking rude. And that shit caught me on the wrong day.

Granted, on the next few pages there are some reasonably priced swimsuits (real suits cost money, a fact that you learn as you get into your one-piece years). But then, right there on page 15 and beyond:

Spin Training Tunic: “perfect lightweight running layer.” $115

Taper Run Tee $115

Zero Gravity Run Tights $160

(And no, I’m not posting pictures of ANY of it because I’m not going to help them sell it.)

Interval Run Tank $115

Cadence Run Jacket $200 and 40 fucking dollars are you mother fucking kidding me?

Tabata Training Tee $95 (I shit you not this is a boxy, short-sleeved, light grey T-shirt.)

Ocean Bay Zip Through (This is a hoodie.) $225

OH LOOK, HERE’S A $105 YOGA CAMI. Because if your outfit doesn’t cost twice as much as your monthly studio fees, then you’re never going to…what? I don’t even know what.

But then their sports bras are $65. Which is actually what a really good sports bra costs, so, reasonable.

Ohp, nope. Here’s another $90 yoga tee on the next page.

Sigh. Fine.

Enjoy your Sweaty Betty, rich people. I can take a hint. I’d be “more comfortable” in something else.

But also,

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Reebok embraces its funky funky truth.

Reebok.

When I say that, what comes to mind?

For me, a child of the 80s and a teen of the 90s, I think of these:

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Like, totally bubble gum pink!

and these:

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Pump-pump it up!

Reebok was Nike before Nike was Nike. (Step Reebok, anybody? PURPLE PINK TEAL BLACK!) There was a little bit of celebrity endorsement, but bold, bright funky products were the star, because, after all, Reebok let U.B.U.

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Cow spots and southwestern? These were EVERYTHING!!!

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Did Reebok invent cross training? I don’t remember. Probably not, but here’s an article. CLICK.

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PSYCH! These are from 2014! (blacktop tribal)

And since then…um…crickets? Not really. They never stopped existing. But you tell me what Reebok has been known for since then. (Oh yeah, Easy Tone. I got a check from the class action suit. Whoopsie!)

Cut to: twenty years later…CROSSFIT. Such a funky, fringe, down and dirty sport-hobby thing. Reebok embraced it, branded it, and made it A THING. (Their CrossFit logo has even taken over and become their brand logo.) When I think about CrossFit (grunting out basic exercises in an extreme way and probably twisting an ankle?) I think “no thanks, weirdo. I care not about your WOD.” But when I watch it on TV, I am RIVETED!!! It’s like track and field. It’s basic in the best, “pared down to simple feats of physical strength, technique and endurance” way possible. Totally kooky, but totally owning it. And the ‘bok is all about it.

Reebok has a history of embracing specific sports and fitness trends (aerobics, Step Reebok) so this is a move that’s true to the brand’s DNA. It’s authentic. It feels right. They’re also the official footwear brand of the UFC, they have a line called “combat” (Fuck yeah!), and they have a partnership with Les Mills developing apparel and workouts. (Les Mills = Body Pump.)

Reebok is getting back to what they’ve been best at. Not trying to out-Nike nike or out-pro UnderArmour, but instead being a little funky dunky fringe, and celebrating specific, not-mainstream sports. They’re reissuing a lot of classics, and their current collection of fitness apparel reminds me of the late 80s/early 90s era when they were last kicking ass. (Check out their “Rally” summer lookbook here.)  It’s all coming back together. Good on you, Reebok. U.B.U.

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