SWEATY BETTY SALE

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.46.32 AMOh snap.

SWEATY BETTY SALE!

please to enjoy this super long link!

http://www.sweatybetty.com/us/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=fb_retargeting_mid_season_sale&utm_campaign=facebook_sb_retargeting&__ja=tsid%3A38217~cid%3A1384447~cgid%3A138444726636593~crid%3A758381670

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.48.59 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.49.28 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.50.40 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.51.46 AM

Advertisements

Can we talk about strappy bras? / The Sports Bra Report

2014 was all about the pants. (Patterns! Colors! Laces! Mesh!)

2015 and and 2016 so far: it’s all about the bras.

What are my thoughts on sports bra fashion? This is a very important question in the world today. Obviously. Let’s dive in.

I like a deep arm hole, so I appreciate a cute sports bra.

Screen Shot 2016-02-25 at 12.05.24 PMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 12.03.38 PMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 12.08.31 PMa1ba759f-ec2c-4c72-bb6d-54c7860c560c        Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 9.39.02 AM

But I’ve learned from experience that the bolder the bra design, the less you can wear it with.

I don’t really understand why every bra isn’t made for high impact, and have lining or padding. Who wants saggy nipply sacks showing through their shirt during sweat yoga? I don’t want to see that shit. This is not NatGeo. Get a real bra.

I instantly don’t like anyone who doesn’t wear a top over her sports bra, either. I mean, come on. You know exactly what you’re doing and it’s not powerful or cool. Save it for Instagram.

Long bras or bralettes or short tanks or whatever Taylor Swift wears are somehow OK, though. There’s probably a formula.

APPROPRIATE AB EXPOSURE =

YOUR PALM WIDTH minus IF YOU EAT CARBS divided by IF YOU HAVE ANY SHAME

or something like that.

But the big trend in sports bras right now is the super strappy bra. I’m sure it was inspired by the cage/harness bra trend, which I find edgy, but generally kind of unflattering.

Oh, and skanky. That shit is skanky as HEY-ull. But I think that’s why it’s appealing. Everybody wants to skank it up sometimes and that is your goddess given right (in the bedroom or near water, and only if you’re young enough, for fuck’s sake, please) so whatever. Go get it.

Right now, every athletic wear site has a strappy bra for its main image when you click on “sports bras.” Don’t believe me? Try it. I’ll wait.

There are wide straps and skinny straps and rib cage straps and holy shit is that a spider web? straps. And that’s all good and fine, but I’m not buying any of them.

  1.  Because it’s hard to style that shit. You always end up with too much going on.
  2.  Because it just looks hard to get into. ANGTFT
  3.  Thin-strapped bras dig into my neck and give me a headache, so mo’ straps mo’ problems?
  4.  In my old age, I’m realizing how quickly things become dated. And I’d rather drop $65 on a super supportive black thing that I can wear until it falls apart than a cute strappy thing that’s only going to be on trend for a few months. But, hey, that’s just me and my mood. If you like it, rock it. I salute any effort put towards feeling good about yourself while you do the work.

BUT, big picture, it’s a little “lingerie,” and I prefer more warrior / less princess for my power outfits. Same goes for anything that looks like lace. Just doesn’t feel right.

But Aimee, do you like anything? At all? Why are you such a hater?

OK fine. There’s one thing in sports bra land that I really like right now. OK two.

First one is the leather look. Or lustrous look. Holy shit. This is edgy and cool and bad ass and a little sexy, but more in a “I will slap you” way and less of a “please think I’m pretty” way. You know what I’m saying? There’s a huge difference. And it’s all in who has the power. To me, this leather look is something you wear for you, it’s very superhero, very strong. And strappy is something you wear for others. Who have peens.

Screen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.50.50 AMforever-21-black-high-impact-faux-leather-paneled-sports-bra-product-2-886530083-normalforever-21-black-low-impact-faux-leather-cage-back-sports-bra-product-1-25690563-0-401901307-normalScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 10.26.46 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.57.10 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.57.18 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 10.03.38 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.51.54 AMScreen Shot 2016-02-25 at 9.52.48 AM

Second thing I’m digging in the sports bra world is this new (to me) brand, Panache Sport. I saw them everywhere when I was on my tour of every athletic wear store last month. Panache is a lingerie brand from the UK, and Panache Sport is their athletic side. They only make one bra, with or without underwire. They’re pricey, but they’ve got pretty good design, major support, they’re flattering, they’re high enough so your bits don’t fall out, AND they’re cute/powerful looking. They’re kind of everything. I’m not in spend mode, but I did find one for cheaper on Zappos or Amazon or something. It was cheaper because it’s a weird color. There’s always a trade off. You get what you pay for. It’s hard to wear with a lot, because IT’S BLUE AND ORANGE!, but it is a really solid bra. I recommend.

And that’s what I have to say about that.

Oh, and and also, camo is huge right now.

Later.

 

Wedgie Fit Jeans

Wow. Just wow.

I can’t. I mean. I just…But why? How gross? I’m so old! This makes me hate young hipsters even more. I didn’t think it was possible. But apparently it is….So weird! I guess it’s not just the same old thing, so props for that. But…I…I don’t know! Whatever. Have fun at your stupid festivals, you ugly-worshipping weirdos. I guess…huh. Just…huh. And also: Hmmm. And also: Hmmph. And also: Don’t forget your One Wipe Charlies?

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 9.51.34 AM

 

Education is Expensive

Hi. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. I’ve had some LIFE THINGS to figure out and still have a few to go. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I have a greeting card company, Brain Surgeons & Rocket Scientists, and I was going to go to the big stationery trade show in NYC this year. But then, just when I was having a freakout about how expensive it was going to be, I realized I also needed to get a new car ASAP. Ouch. OOF! The old one-two! I lost a lot of sleep agonizing about both of those things, and I’m just now popping out on the other side. I had to drop out of the show (super sad) and say goodbye to my beloved MINI Cooper S (sobbing out loud sad) and get a “real” car with “four doors” and an “actual back seat.”

38bf0e10-3f7c-0133-0a1d-0e76e5725d9d

(Side note: Do not for a second think there is anything wrong with a MINI. There’s just no way in earth-bound physics that I would be able to use a rear-facing convertible car seat (non-mom translation: frickin’ huge and you can’t take it in and out) in a two door car. It sucks. I loved my MINI. I held on to it as long as I could. I hope she ends up with a fun new owner who appreciates her as much as I did. Fuck. I’m going to cry again! I can’t help it. I love cars. Especially that one. )

When I signed up for the trade show, I thought I was doing a “just jump and you’ll figure it out” move. Which often works. Just not this time. Perhaps, and I’m just spitballing here, I mean, this could be total crazy talk, but maybe…when you have a child, you can no longer live as flexibly or spontaneously as you did before you had a child. And also, you need a four door car. You idiot.

Facepalm-Meme-09

So. Lesson learned? Or punishment dealt? All I know is I done messed up. And it was an expensive mistake. So learn from me, folks. Sometimes you actually should look before you leap. Unless you’re in your twenties. Then you need to stop being a chicken shit and go do stuff because you’ll be old before you know it.

And now back to your regularly scheduled obsession with black workout pants and protein bars and such….