Roxy Sunset Leggings

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I mean. How cute are these? So ridiculous. So obnoxious. I love them. Roxy Sunset Pant Leggings. Somebody with a tiny booty please buy these because my ass probably shouldn’t…  Look at how they’re a little bit loose on her. Ha! Bless her skinny-assed young-assed little heart.

 

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Wining About Off Weeks.

 

red wine and grapes

Hello, lover.

I love wine. It tastes good. It’s relaxing. It’s pretty. It’s like consuming sunshine. I lived in San Francisco for almost ten years and I am all about California old style zinfandels. I love the whole “having a glass of wine” thing. And my favorite smell on earth is the barrel cellar in a vineyard. Liquor hits too hard and isn’t as delicious. Beer is totally fun but is pretty much like drinking bread so it’s kind of out. Wine is king.

So I’ve been doing my own quazi version of The Whole 30 for the last 80ish days. I called it the 100 Days of Healthy. No sweeteners, grains, soda, sugar, packaged food, beans, alcohol. It morphed to include soda, sweeteners and “cleaner” alcohols: tequila and vodka occasionally. Basically because if I didn’t give myself those, I was going to go off the rails and it was worth the compromise to keep moving forward. But I’ve stayed off of grains, sugar and beans completely for over 80 days. I literally do not want to eat grains or sugar at all. No need. So that’s really a great GREAT turn. Because grains and sugar cause inflammation in me and my whole body aches after I eat them. Like the flu. It’s super fun. So not wanting to eat them is a really good thing!

I’m starting a P90X3 Challenge next week, so I figured, close enough. I’ll take this week off before I buckle back down for another 90 days. Long story short: I’m eating whatever I want this week. (I still do not want grains or sugar.) Long story shorter: WINE!

I’ve missed it a ton. It’s 90% a habit thing. Having a treat at night. And I do really enjoy the taste. My first glass was like “oh sweet nectar of life I have missed you!!!” And it was really nice to REALLY taste it and APPRECIATE it because it was special. But I’ve been having wine all week, and I’ve learned some really good lessons.

TRUE FACTS ABOUT AN OFF WEEK

1. I feel like absolute shit. My stomach is burning. I’m extremely uncomfortable. My SWEATPANTS are tight in the waist. Bloated. Bags under the eyes. Puffy face. Total package!

2. Wine tastes good, but feels terrible pretty quickly. Namely, as soon as I finish my first glass. Headache. Uncomfortable. I feel poisoned. Wine is basically an instant hangover. Plus you get the tomorrow hangover too!

3. I’ve always known that wine is the worst as far as affecting your workout the next day. But now that I’m old old old, Wine = not sleeping. Not sleeping = not being able to do things, like function, work out, or walk around the block without shuffling like the walking dead.

4. One protein bar/ Atkins bar is not satisfying. A box of Atkins bars HURTS LIKE HELL. I knew that already, but apparently I have to keep on testing that one. Over and over and over.

5. I am not a person who can have nuts in the house because I am not a person who can not shove infinite amounts of crunchy, ready-to-eat things in my face. Ideal serving size = hand full. Actual Aimee serving size = all of them. It’s not even that I like nuts that much. It’s just the nom nom mindless shove it in my face hole enabling nature of them.  Nuts = chips.

6. It’s going to take who knows how many days to get this out of my system and start feeling good again. And I can’t wait to start feeling good again.

7. Off weeks are no bueno. Off days, probably better. Off-something: you gotta do what you gotta do to stay sane and keep moving in general in the right direction. Off-anything will definitely teach you something useful and reinforce why you actually truly like eating right and working out.

Conclusion?

Off weeks are a terrible idea. You’re welcome.

And one good thing about getting older is: it’s easier to feel like crap, so it’s easier to actually really authentically want to eat well. So you don’t feel like crap.

Prana Summer 2014

So, Prana is a yoga/hiking type brand that’s been around for a while. I forgot about them. I had a pair of wicking hiking/adventure/travel whatever you call ’em pants by them a while back, and they were fantastic. And orange.

I just got their 2014 summer catalog in the mail, and besides having a model with a really good hair color that I’m going to bring to my stylist, they’ve got a few thing that made me say “hmm.” So why not share?

From Prana Summer 2014 

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Work Out Hair

This is where I post workout hair pics and ideas. I’ll just keep adding to this post infinitely. Also, see my instagram feed. 🙂 http://instagram.com/iamaimeeschewe I’m always posting stuff there.

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How to work out with WET HAIR.

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Pig tail braids look cute after, too.

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high and tight. put the pony at ear-lobe height, then tighten it upward for some top-of-head volume ala Blake Lively.

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These work. And they look like 80s jelly bracelets!

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sometimes you gotta run like a wild woman with your hair down.

What is a WorkOutFit?

A WorkOutFit is a LOOK you put together, thoughtfully, to make you feel powerful and confident and energetic as you head into your workout. And every time you check your form in the mirror. It’s The Men’s Warehouse up in there: You’re gonna like the way you look.

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A WorkOutFit is NOT something you just throw on that doesn’t smell too bad.

A WorkOutFit is not a baggy old t-shirt that you should have thrown away years ago, with some soccer shorts or yoga pants. However, it can include a baggy old t-shirt if you give it some diy deconstruction love…

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A WorkOutFit fits well, flatters your figure, supports your body, minimizes jiggle, and covers your bits and blobs. It is not a tech t-shirt and mesh shorts for fuck’s sake. Tech t-shirts somehow look absolutely terrible on everybody.

A WorkOutFit is not a slutty, low-cut, low-rise, jog-bra and boy shorts situation. That is distracting to women (who will glare) and men (who will stare). If you’re serious about working out, dress accordingly.

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A WorkOutFit usually works with layers, for warmth, options, and or to cover/camoflage your/ my wide ass/poofy middle.

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A WorkOutFit isn’t just a top and some bottoms. It works with balance (a tight and a loose, a dark and a bright) and maybe even accessories (sweatbands, watches, activity trackers, hats, headbands) to pull it all together.

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You’ll know you’re wearing a WorkOutFit when you start flexing in the mirror. And posing. And making faces. You’ll know it because you’ll feel it. You’ll feel the absence of “ugh, i’m a big fat floppy blob of gross.” And instead, you’ll feel strong and confident and capable and energized. It’s not about fashion, it’s about changing your mindset. Clothes matter.

Have a great workout! (and WorkOutFit.)

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Kale Chips!

As a person interested in eating well, I’m supposed to eat somewhere near 90 pounds of kale a day. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. I feel like it needs something sweet with it to balance out the bitterness, so…that doesn’t work with my paleo plans.

Enter KALE CHIPS! Yay! nom nom paleo has a great recipe that I use, and if you’re in the mood, you can totally eat a bunch or two of kale in one crispy munch fest. They’re kind of nutty, kind of roasty, and you can season them however you want. I don’t know about you, but not eating starches makes me miss crispy crunchy stuff your face with both hands-type food textures. And that’s exactly what kale chips are. IT’S A MURRRICLE! YAYYYY!

Here’s the link.

http://nomnompaleo.com/post/2648091289/baked-kale-chips

And here’s hat they look like:

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Tony Tony Tony

TONY  TONY    TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY   TONY  TONY   TONY

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Do I have a crush on Tony Horton? No. He’s a cheezeball. But I do like him. And I have enjoyed the P90x. I did it a few years ago, and guess what: weight training shrinks you. I mean, who doesn’t know that? If you don’t know it, now you do. No excuses. Get off the stupid elipser, girl. But still, actually proving it to yourself is the only way to KNOW know the truth. And it’s time for me to get some more truth.

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Brooke + Tony

My sister-in-law Brooke is a badass. You may have run into her on the youtubes (crazy running mom) or the facebooks.  She’s a multi-marathonner and she’s also super into Beach Body: she’s done Body Beast and the 21 day fix and Shakeology…she’s a coach and everything. I’m telling you this because I’m part of her P90X3 challenge group that starts on May 27th. In challenge groups, you sign up and commit to a challenge, in this case, following P-90X3, with a group of people. You do it with a coach (Brooke) who runs the group, and gives you all the support and advice you need. There’s a private Facebook group where you talk to the other people in the group and hopefully peer pressure / shit-talk each other enough to follow through. And you have to be accountable to them. You have to check in daily and report on your workout/food. And if you win the group you win…I’m not sure. Maybe discounts at Beach Body or something. Plus, Beach Body gives out cash prizes for before and afters they like. And we all want to be fitness models one day, so obviously that’s what we all want to win. Wait. That’s just me? Oh. Well. OK. Whatever. Screen Shot 2014-05-16 at 1.21.32 PMIf you’re interested in joining, go to her facebook page and message her. Her beach body coach site is here. (Ideally, you buy the program through her site. So she gets credit for it. Why not if you’re going to get it anyway, right?)  There’s still a little time left to get the program and join our challenge. I MIGHT even post a before and after. I mean I will. Have an after. I’m just going to repeat that until I believe it because I’ve literally never taken an after photo. BUT I WILL. Right? Anyway, join up wussies! Get strong! Want to meet your coach? Here’s her video about it: Screen Shot 2014-05-16 at 1.30.56 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hicG6RXnMUU&list=UU-aw0m5goxbDIZPaffziWPA

How to make no progress whatsoever.

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NAILING IT!

I’ve been working really hard at making no progress whatsoever lately, and I’m really excited to share my tips! They are 100% proven to work!

Only do cardio.

Don’t track your food.

Drink when you’re bored.

Stay up late doing nothing on the internet.

Drink coffee in the afternoon and then cost yourself some sleep.

Use “no sugars no starches” as a free pass to eat at least 3x the meat and fat you need.

Don’t drink water.

Spend more time talking and shopping about working out than actually moving.

Eat lots of Atkins bars in addition to real food. Serving size = I box of bars. Enjoy those stomach rumbles!

Hope it works for you as well as it has for me!