Bandier is giving Carbon 38 a run…

/ Aimee / Leave a comment

Move over Carbon 38, I’m maybe feeling Bandier.

Bandier is a fitness fashion boutique selling their own and other brands, online and in some brick and mortar locations. And they have some pants that cost $50, while Carbon 38 doesn’t.

Here are some tasty things I saw on their site:

Terez Performance Leggings $78

I can tell that they are white on the inside, so they’ll look grey/see-through when stretched, which is a bummer. But still. I haven’t seen this kind of illustration-style graphic on leggings before…

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Kule X Bandier The Jordyn $125

Kule is the hipster sweatshirt brand of the moment. So Bandier is on top of it with this collab. I’m not showing you the velour track jackets because I refuse. Nor am I going to show you the leggings with black and white horizontal stripes that are a riff on Althleta and Onzie and a few others. But I do love these “knee socks built in”-looking leggings. Pretty clever. (I apologize for the arrows. I’m a lazy screen-grabber, those arrows are from the bandier site, they’re not active.)

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Beyond Yoga Ombre High Waisted Long Legging $115

I know. Burnout fabric is years old. Ombre is years old. But put them together and it feels a little new. And super cozy. Screen Shot 2017-10-31 at 11.24.18 AM.png

Laain Sheila Diamond Legging $215

I can’t decide if these are rad or if they’d be a sweaty mess but I can’t look away, so I think I might love them…And I love blue on blue…so, yeah. I LOVE THEM! Screen Shot 2017-10-31 at 11.31.18 AM.png

The Upside Tails Bomber $305

Now I’m not saying this will work, but mega points for trying.

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Dagne Dover Dakota Backpack $175

How cute is this? Is it rubber???!!!?? No. It’s neoprene. So great.

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Terez Tall band Capri Iridescent Oil Spill $59

And for Halloween extra credit: Unicorn Pants!!!

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What I like about Bandier:

  • The site isn’t overwhelming.
  • They don’t show pictures of things that are sold out (Why, Carbon 38? Why?).
  • It’s a little more funky than “sexy rich lady.” (Still, lots of expensive things, but the vibe is different.)
  • Check ’em out.

Moto Leggings for Fall

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Oh My Gosh, I totally owe you guys a post about moto leggings. Sorry. I’ve been busy with day job jobby job ness. SO. MOTO LEGGINGS. Let’s do this.

MOTO LEGGINGS are probably the biggest legging trend for fall. They’ve been around for a while, but they’re reaching critical mass for fall/winter 2017. You can find them in any store you walk into. There is a version of moto leggings for any style of pant you want. Even sweats. Which doesn’t make any sense. But they exist.

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I love the look of them. I used to have a pair of grey moto jeans that were my favorites until I wore them out and split the inner leg seam in a non-repairable way. So I thought, “Sweet. Moto is back in my life!”

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UM. NO.

Moto + Jeans = cool if it’s placed on the right part of the thigh.

Moto + Leggings = a sausage-creating, super unflattering disgusting disaster.

Why? Because the cut of the moto trend right now is a diagonal across the thigh. I repeat: A DIAGONAL CUT ACROSS THE THIGH.

If you have THIGHS with a capital THUH, you don’t want lines across your thighs. The jeans I had that I liked had the moto panel starting just above the knee and were more of a knee patch/ reinforced knee kind of vibe. That works. This? Does not. Especially because they’re a stretch material so you get an extra indent at every seam. No bueno.

(These are the high waisted ankle length moto leggings from Zella at Nordstrom.)

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Zella Moto Leggings

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Now I’m not saying every pair won’t work. The ones below this paragraph are from Spanx, and they know flattery. They designed the panel to divide the thigh vertically instead of cutting across, so they’re probably good. I don’t know. I haven’t tried them on. Then again, they also draw a line beneath and pointing to the saddle bag area, so maybe not.

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BUT, I had tried some on to hilarious result, so I thought I should share the pics and warn you. Good luck finding a pair that works if your thighs are bigger than your arms. There are probably some out there BUT THEY ARE NOT SPANDEX WITH A SHEER PANEL fo’ sho. *shudder*

Flattering fall hoodies and a photography fail.

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I’m shopping for a long fall hoodie or jackety thingie because

1. I don’t wear short ones, see my previous post about long hoodies here. And

2. My Athleta CYA Strength Hoodie is looking a little faded and sad, because it’s black and cotton and I’m dumb and that’s what happens.

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Athleta CYA Strength 2 Hoodie

I’ve been eyeing the Blanc Noir New Traveler Jacket on Carbon38.com (schmancy fitness fashion webstore) for over a year, and never pulled the trigger because it doesn’t have a zipper and it’s basically a sweatshirt cardigan that costs two hundred bucks. But I always look at it…because a hoodie just feels too functional and basic and a little flair goes a long way in me not feeling like a pajama person.

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Blanc Noir New Traveler Jacket

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Blanc Noir New Traveler Jacket

So I googled it to see if it was cheaper anywhere else, and I saw a NEWER updated version (Blanc Noir Update Traveler Jacket) on Blanc Noir’s own site. Even better! Love it! HOT! And it has a zipper!

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Blanc Noir Update Traveler Jacket in Charcoal

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Blanc Noir Update Traveler Jacket in Charcoal

 

So then I googled THAT jacket to see if it was cheaper anywhere else, and it’s on Zappos.  BUT, look at the difference! Same jacket. Same color, supposedly, but…um…WHAT THE WHAT?

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Blanc Noir Update Traveler Jacket in Charcoal…on Zappos

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Blanc Noir Update Traveler Jacket in Charcoal…on Zappos

Same jacket. Supposedly the same color. Two different sites. WHAT’S THE TRUTH??? Probably the Zappos version. Probably the one that looks tackier and cheaper. Lesson: photography and styling (and filters) matter, kids. Also, I probably won’t buy anything and just keep on wearing my faded black Athleta Hoodie. Probably.

Although…upon further investigation…there’s no white piping on the Blanc Noir site’s version…maybe they really are different colorways…two colorways that reflect two very different taste levels…perhaps this is a merchandise labeling mistake…OK. Maybe I’ll buy the grey on grey one…Maybe.

Outside Lands is nigh! Get festival fashion ready with a free HIIT workout from Beach Body

/ Aimee / 4 Comments

Lalapalooza was last weekend. Outside Lands is this week. It’s a busy time for music festival-goers. And Beach Body and Stub Hub put together a HIIT bodyweight work out you can do anywhere with no equipment to get in “butt cheeks hanging out of your cut-offs” shape. Because apparently, that’s the only thing you’re allowed to wear to festivals this year. No I’m not kidding. About either of those things.

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Yes, ass cheeks out is a thing. And so is a pre-festival workout. I know because I participated in one last week with Beach Body Master Trainers Joel and Jericho. If you’re a Beach Body fan, they’re the ones who did Core de Force, and they’re friggin’ adorable IRL. And totally diesel. And friendly and nice.

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The workout is called Ready Set Live, and it was created by Beach Body and Stubhub. It had a not-too-serious festival prep-theme: each move was picked to help you get better at something that would be useful at a show like: pop up to your feet quickly if you trip, jump up to see your friends in a crowd, hover squat in a port-o-let…you get it. Cute.  Fun.

But it was a good workout, too. Simple, nine exercises, three rounds, 25 minutes, and I had quivering jelly legs by the end. Ass totally kicked. Also, it was on a rooftop. In the city. At sunset. Which is kind of the best.

I’m on a roof!

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Also the best? The workout is available for free, for you and all the world, here.

And if you want to go to the live event in SF TONIGHT, go to the StubHub and Beachbody socials, you might still be able to get in. Woo hoo!

So if you’re going to Outside Lands, tell the bay I miss it, and give the Ready Set Live workout a shot. I love HIIT body weight workouts, and this one is great.

Post-workout Pretty-Sweaty

Red-Faced Super Sweaty Proof

Those fucking festival shorts, though…not a fan.

Pretty-Sweaty.com Lolla Shorts

 

Important: Wonder Woman

/ Aimee / Leave a comment

If you have not seen Wonder Woman yet, I’m taking away your woman card.

Go see it. NOW. And then go see it again. Because it’s fucking important. These are images you, and everyone need to see.

You’re sure as shit I saw it opening weekend. And I almost cried five times, mostly during battle scenes, because I was floored by how I had never seen (or had rarely seen) these things on film before, not treated like a crazy novelty:

-Female directors

-Female directors of action movies

-Female directors of superhero movies

-Female directors of giant summer blockbuster movies

-Women leading on set

-Women leading on-screen

-Women leading in battle

-Women training for battle

-Women with wrinkles and scars, as the most valued people in a society

-Women with wrinkles and scars leading

-Women with wrinkles and scars leading IN BATTLE

-Women with wrinkles IN BATTLE

-Women in a ten minute fight scene doing every single thing you want to see in a ten minute fight scene

-Women whose clothing was completely functional. For moving.  And kicking. And reaching for arrows. And swording. And jumping on and off of horses. While kicking and moving and shooting arrows and swording.

-Women unashamed of their bodies, women who would never even think that they’d be objectified, women using their legs as things that propel them and stabilize them and support them, for everything BUT slow motion sun-flare, looking back over your butt, sexy action girl shots

-Men as secondary characters

-Men as the love interest and quirky sidekick at best. (And one lame generic “Imma destroy humanity!” bad guy.)

-An evil woman villain (because you must be respected to be considered a threat)

-A super smart chemist woman who’s essentially the bad guy army’s secret weapon

-Sincerity, warmth, and lightheartedness that was just nice and human, not record-scratch schmaltzy or dumb

but mostly:

THIS!!!!ww and patti jenkinsgal-gadot-e-patty-jenkins-maxw-654104495214-wonder-woman.530x298wonder-woman-gal-gadot-and-chris-pine-on-world-war-i-setwonder-woman-amazzoni593ff1b91d00002900cc2ac9.jpgmqdefault412ABDF700000578-4596296-image-m-17_1497279646861Screen Shot 2017-06-21 at 3.39.06 PM.pngwonder-woman-4gallery-1489058413-wonder-woman-amazons-on-horseback-robin-wrightlandscape-1496864038-wonderwoman-clay-enos-warner-bros-entertainment-inc-ratpac-dune-entertainment-llc-10.jpgmaxresdefault-1.jpgWonder-Woman-Gal-Gadot.pngwwp1jpg-f9b324_1280w.jpgwonder-woman-poster.jpg

WW3

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It’s not that I want more violence, it’s that showing someone in a violent situation sends a message that says: THEY CAN DO THAT. They are capable. And the way it’s handled in Wonder Woman is: OF COURSE THEY CAN DO THAT. (And this, and that and everything.) It pointed out how crazy it is that we’re totally brainwashed into thinking that woman maybe can’t this or that. This film simply shows women as equal to men. Literally. Just equal. Just doing the same things guys do in every single movie ever. AND IT IS SHOCKING because we simply DON’T SEE THAT.

And that is FUCKED up.

Need more now forever lots please, thank you Patty Jenkins.

(And the writers: Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder, and Jason Fuchs.)

Carbon 38 Pretend Shopping Spree

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So Carbon 38 has an end of season sale going on...Here’s what I’d like to buy with all of my imaginary cash.

1. Roselynn Embroidered Pullover by Good Hyouman $49

This sweatshirt says “My sweater is better than yours.” The end.

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2. Scoop Tank by Sundry $56

I don’t know why ripped shirts look rich. They just do. Sign me up.

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3. Ryval Performance Tight by Splits 59 $76

Yes, light grey workout pants should just plain not exist, because butt sweat. However, the stripey sporty mountain ranger game going on at the bottom of these is so good I kind of love them.

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4. Black Python Joggers by Blue Life Fit. $124

My argument for these is as follows: THEY’RE BLACK PYTHON JOGGERS!

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5. Run Striped Sweater by Adidas by Stella McCartney $119

Burgundy and bright blue is an advanced styling move and I like it. Plus it’s boxy and cropped and a little bit shiny. This is an aggressively playful look and I’m in.

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Stink like a girl / Vapor Fresh sports laundry detergent review.

/ Aimee / 2 Comments

 

#FitGirlProblem: The stinky jacket.

The stinky jacket is the jacket you wear to and from the gym, or put on after your workout before you take a shower. The stinky jacket could also be the layer you start your run in, but eventually peel off, about three minutes after you’ve sweat into it. I have 1.5 stinky jackets. I wear them because they’re my coolest, longest, best jackets. They make me feel like a superhero badass person. They’re the ones that made me say “really? over $100 for a hoodie?” when I bought them, but I reach for them every single day and they make me realize how absolutely unflattering and shitty the cheap ones are.

But I also hate wearing them as stinky jackets because they’re the kind of jacket/hoodie things that I like to wear in athleisure situations, too. (This is where the .5 comes in. One of my stinky jackets I very rarely use as a stinky jacket, mostly as a running around jacket, but all it takes is one time and…yeah. I think it’s probably a stinky jacket.) It would be nice if stinky jackets didn’t have to be stinky jackets only, and I didn’t feel like I had to buy yet ANOTHER expensive fancy hoodie jacket thingie for everyday use because the other one and a half fucking reek. And they do. They fucking reek. I don’t think other people can necessarily smell them, but I sure can. Because they get jammed up in the armpits after workouts when I’m wearing sleeveless tops, grinding stinky deodorant wax and weight training funk all up in that fabric…not their fault. They’re armpit thongs, basically. How could I expect them to not fucking reek?

And yes, of course I wash them. I wash them all the time. And yes I use my special detergents. But that’s not cutting it. Them shits still stink.

MEANWHILE, as I was pouting about my 1.5 stinky jackets and trying not to buy another expensive workout jacket…Vapor Fresh sent me a new sample of their detergent! So I thought I’d tackle two birds with one post.
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What’s this Vapor Fresh you speak of?

Vapor Fresh by Raw Athletics (rawathletics.com, vaporfresh.com) is a sports laundry detergent that says it has stain and odor lifting technology and is designed to clean sports apparel and everyday laundry. Perfect, because that’s how I roll. I wash everything together and just use my fancy delicate detergent for the whole lot. Which I shouldn’t. See my earlier post about washing your workout wear here.

FYI: liquid detergent = usually bad for stinky and/or sweat-wicking things. Why? Fragrances, dyes, softeners and brighteners can clog fabric, trap the stink, and jam the wicking fibers so they can’t wick anymore. (Read more about it in the drop-downs here.)

What’s good about Vapor Fresh Sports Laundry Detergent:

  • not liquid
  • fragrance and dye-free, hypoallergenic
  • eco-friendly, biodegradable
  • no harsh chemicals
  • uses cold water compatible surfactants (soapy sudsy things that break down oils)
  • a lot smaller than a box of Tide or a jug of Cheer or whatever
  • can be used with regular and HE washing machines
  • made in Illinois!

Did it make your stinky jackets not stink anymore?

No, and then yes.

First pass: no. They still stunk. Then I read the directions on the package of Vapor Fresh, and it said “for heavily soiled laundry, allow laundry to soak with detergent for at least 10 minutes prior to washing.” And the website says to do it for “at least 30 minutes (!)” So technically, I didn’t give the stuff a chance to do its job on those deodorant-filled stinky jacket armpits.

So I dug out my washing machine manual, learned that I have, of course, been using it incorrectly for years, and figured out which settings have extra long soak times. Alternatively, you could just pre-soak the items in question Woolite-style in the sink like this.

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Pre-soaking is a bit of a pain in the ass, but it’s worth it to save an expensive jacket from stinky jacket doom, right? Now we know.

DID IT WORK, THEN?

YES. They came out…NOT-STINKY JACKETS!

Shit. Now I don’t get to go buy a new fancy workout jacket. 😦

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VAPOR FRESH: THE VERDICT

I know that Vapor Fresh won’t harm the performance (wicking, stretching, compression) of my workout clothes, and I am happy to report that does remove B.O. when you follow the directions. Which you think would be, like, the definition of any laundry detergent’s job, but you tell me. How many of your workout shirt and jacket armpits can you stick your nose into? Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Available on Amazon , $22 for a 5lb tub, which is good for 36 regular/ 72 HE loads of laundry.