Hey! Lululemon has some stuff that’s right up my alley right now! Like: baggy tops that might actually almost cover your butt, a hoodie that isn’t purple or sad light grey, and a bathing suit top with a peplum, which is a GREAT idea because muffin tops do still exist. Yay!
Pear-shaped problem:
Any pants that fit your ass are usually too big in the waist, and slide down as you work out.
OR, if you buy pants that are stretchy enough to fit your ass and not be baggy on your waist, that material is too stretchy to stay put during any kind of real workout, and they slide down. (Athleta Chaturanga and LuluLemon Wonder Unders are two examples of such pants.)
I recently convinced myself it was OK to get a few fresh pairs of workout capris and was picky about the stay-up factor. I bought three pairs from Athleta (currently not feeling LuluLemon at all) and get this: I KEPT ALL THREE. Whattttt?
Here are the three winners of WILL THEY STAY UP?
Higher waist. They have that double decker waist band thing that Athleta does on their training pants which does add a little bulk to the midsection but not THAT MUCH and if that’s what it takes to have pants that stay up, that’s fine. It’s not like I’m wearing crop tops for fuck’s sake AMIRIGHT? haha. Crop tops. BWAHAHAHAHHAHA. Those are for young people. Stupid stupid young people. Anyway, I ran in them. Outside. And YES! THEY WILL STAY UP! They will also look stupid with any shoe that’s not plain grey or black, but oh well. THEY WILL STAY UP.
Next up…
The seams near the hips are a little weird, and I almost took them back because I thought they look a little bit like someone drawing circles around and pointing to my saddle bags, (Notice how the model has her hand in front of hers? Not an accident.) but…meh! Nobody in boot camp is looking at my shit, so fuck it. I like the polka dot cut-outs and I’m too lazy to find another type of pant that won’t fall down but has a modern detail on it so IMMA KEEP EM.
AND YES THEY WILL STAY UP!
last but not least:
OK. These are the weird one-offs I was curious about a while back. (See post here.) They are less expensive than any other pant from Athleta, and aren’t a line like the Sonar or Chaturanga, but they’re high-waisted and their description said they were for high intensity training, so…I had to check them out.
What’s different about them is the fabric: it’s a little thicker than the normal Athleta fabric (which is good, because Athleta’s fabric is a little on the thin side) but it’s really slippery. Like, slipperier than a bathing suit-slippery. Slipperier than 80’s shiny purple spandex-slippery. I don’t know why. And I thought that would make them fall down, but…they didn’t, so I’m keeping these guys too. Who knew?
The only bad news is they only have them in pink, and in XS or XL now…so I’m sorry that I brought you late news on that. Maybe they’ll bring them back for the spring catalog.
But what have we learned? If you’re a pear and/or have trouble finding workout or running pants that stay up, try the Athleta Sonar line. And no, they’re not paying me. But seriously, they should probably start, right? AHEM.
Good luck getting your workouts in over the holidays! I’ll be using Aaptiv / The App Formerly Known as Skyfit. I’ll let you know how it goes. MERRY ALMOST CHRISTMAS!
Hey there. Sorry I’ve been MIA. It’s because:
1. I haven’t been shopping much because day care is really fucking expensive. Like, more than my post-grad education-expensive. Not kidding. #americawehaveaproblem
2. I’ve been busy working because, see 1.
3. I haven’t been working out because I HAVE HAD A STUPID SINUS INFECTION FOR OVER HALF THE YEAR. No joke. You know how you feel when you have half a cold, and aren’t really snotting all over anymore, but your head is full of pudding and you can’t think straight and you also feel like someone is sucking 70% of your life force out of you at all times? That’s me. Most of this year. It’s not cool.
I have, however, become a Ketonian, which I’d love to tell you about, and will, soon, but not now. More important? Fall fitness fashion.
You KNOW I love me some Athleta. I’m wearing Chaturanga Capris and the Daily Tank right now, with my murdered-out Nike Frees.
So for this fall, Athleta is introducing some Shapey/Supporty stuff called Sculptek. But I don’t care. At least not right now.
What I do care about is:
The HIGH NECK STRIPE CHI TANK because it’s basically what I’m already wearing, but in a cute stripe. If I had to uniform it for the rest of my life, I would have to just admit that it’s tunics and leggings for me. Has been since I was 13.
The SCOUT SLIP ON BY DR. SCHOLLS, NEW WAVE BY OBTB, and SODA JOGGER BY ASH because when I commute to the city for an on-site gig, I have to walk a mile from the train station to the office, hauling a computer. And that’s when shit gets real. Gotta have #cuteworkshoes
THE ANYTIME BRA because when I’m not working on-site, I’m usually athelisure-style because it’s still sweltering here and even walking the dog equals sweating. And sweating in a real bra is GROSS.
THE LASER MESH SONAR CAPRI because I’m kind of low on pants that really stay up, and I’m trying to start running again. And they’re fucking cool. 
THE CIRCUIT CAPRI because they seem even more serious about their “not fall down” nature with their elastic topped high-rise waistband.
THE LEA WEDGE BY SOREL because they were my clients, and I love them, and that boot is awesomely rugged/ rustic/ and futuristic at the same time. Oh, and waterproof. (See city walking needs above.)
And of course, the GLEAM TIGHT 2.0 and SUEDE because let’s be honest, unless I’m going to the city I’m probably not wearing pants. Half the time. At least. 
HAPPY FALL FASHION SEASON!
Oh, and I went to Luluelmon yesterday and peeked around. They have what look like could be some powerful running tights, but they’ve jacked up their prices again, so I just said WELL FUCK YOOOOOU, THEN and walked out. $150 for running tights, guys. That’s like, five minutes of day care. Too expensive.
Holy shit. This is truly outrageous.
Victoria’s Secret Sport has a line of sports bras based on Jem and the Holograms.
I mean, they might not KNOW that they did it. But they totally did it.
I introduce to you the “Incredible” by Victoria’s Secret sports bra.
Of course, my fitstyle is more
But whatever.
Thank you VSX for that surprising bit of joy I had trying on sports bras yesterday.
When they came out last year, I was like “Whaaaaa? Those are cyuuuute.” But I own at least 4 pairs of Chaturangas already, and sort of doubted horizontal stripes across my widest bits would be a good idea.
But I have seen them on different ladies with different body types, and they do kind of look cute on a lot of people, so I kept them in the back of my mind…
Then I was out negative-shopping last week (returning things) and saw a pair on the sale rack at Athleta, so I had to try them on.
Oh well. A few more notes on them:
FABRIC: much less stretchy than the other chaturangas I have.
FIT: the cut and rise are the same.
Hello! Quick little update on the digital world of Pretty-Sweaty:
Admittedly, “work” today means worky work, like sitting on my ass at the computer work. Dressed like a dude in joggers, kicks, and a jacket. And 30 second hair. They have it so easy they don’t even know.
Joggers: Gapfit, Jacket: Mountain Hardware, Shoes: Toms, Tracker: Up2 by Jawbone
I’ve got a serious problem. The world has caught up and most brands are making cute workout clothes and most people are wearing them. There’s even a Stitch Fix/ Trunk Club type service for fitness clothes now (sweat style). Hell, even Beyonce is coming out with a fitness line. (Ivy Park. Beyonce x Top Shop.) Which, for the record, is not fucking authentic because anyone who can pay someone to cook for them and train them is kind of cheating. Carrie Underwood. Kate Hudson. Gweneth. Britney. Jessica. Not like, lipo- cheating (although, maybe they have, I don’t know), but still. Just because you’re a star and keep in shape, and/or already have a clothing line you’re looking to extend, doesn’t mean you’re a fitness person.
Anyway. The only problem left for me to bitch about (other than that) in fitness fashion is clingy tech shirts. That’s it. They still suck, they still make everyone look lumpy and terrible, and they hold on to B.O. like a stink bank. And maybe the’ll never go away until I’m somehow made head of design at Nike or Under Armor (insert dream sequence here). But just one terrible crime against fitness fashion isn’t much to feed this beast.
What’s a girl to do??? Be positive?!? Just focus on putting cute WorkOutfits together? Like another vapid fashion blogger who for some reason can never look at the camera? Blech. I dunno, man.
I guess I’ll just keep on reporting on what’s coming out and how to find stuff that makes you feel powerful. Just because shit’s pretty good now, doesn’t mean we all can’t keep upping our badassery. (see: proenza schouler, balmain) Onward! Excelsior!
Here’s what happens when I get dressed for bootcamp: I spend ten minutes trying to figure out which pair of black workout pants is tight enough to stay up during jumping jacks and such, thick enough to camouflage cellulite and sweat, but not so tight that my saggy double butt or lady bits are on full display.
This chart is from YouBeauty, click on it for their butt-type specific exercises.
THEN, I put on whatever flowy top makes me feel least gross and goes down the longest.
THEN, I go to class and either my pants fall down the whole time, or my top flies up during burpees and mountain climbers and hip hikes.
The pants issue, I’ve figured out. I needed to 1. stop wearing Athelta Chaturangas and LuluLemon Wonder Unders to bootcamp, because both of them shits is designed for YOGA. Stretchy material, wide waistbands, basically designed to slip down and give you penguin crotch and muffin top if you dare to jog in place in them.
So I dug out my tub of workout clothes that are a size smaller, and (yippee!) some of those pants fit now. And most of them were intended for running and training, not yoga. So we’re good there. Also: don’t be afraid to wear something that feels “tight” because basically, if it feels “comfy” when you’re not working out, it’s going to fall down when you are. And nobody cares about your butt once the workout starts. Everyone’s busy either worrying about their own butts or trying not to quit and walk out in the middle of class. Just like you. (Want the full education on workout-pant types? I wrote about it here.)
Now the tops: that’s a little harder. You know I loathe clingy, roll-showing, muffin top maxing, tech tops. And I’d rather not wear a wife beater type tank top in public just yet. (mushy middle) So I basically have ONE TOP that really works for boot camp. The Athleta Breathe tank, which has a shit-ton of ruching and is really long, so it stays in place pretty well, but also has some distraction/camo action. Well, they don’t make that tank top anymore. So…sweet.
Athleta Breathe Tank
What about bubble tops, Aimee? Fuck bubble tops, that’s what. I’m a pear, so they balloon out at the one place I’m small – my waist, and also, because of my shape, they just slide up towards my narrowest part anyway. Also, I think they’re ugly. Unless you’re a super apple. Then, they’re probably your best option.
So I’ve been on the lookout for something that might work, and I sort of found something. It’s called the Sweat it Out top from Lucy. It’s sort of a straight cut, so it is snug-ish at the hip, but doesn’t cling anywhere else. So the cut is working in my favor. But it’s not perfect because the fabric is slippery. It’s better than a lot of tech fabrics because it’s thick (awesome) and seamless and doesn’t look cheap and tacky as fuck. But, it does slide up a little. I even made a point of wearing it with a more brushed cotton type of pant rather than a slippy slidy pair, and I still had to pull it down a fair amount. I will say it never rode all the way up, though. Just a few inches. (PS, they’re on sale now. Probably because you can’t tell the quality from the photograph.)
Lucy Sweat it Out Tank
I’ll keep my eyes open. And I might try some other kind of ruched top from Athleta like the Fastest Track or PR Tank 2 or Pure Tank. I don’t know. They look pretty tight-fitting. Might just have to suck it up and wear my Old Navy tank tops. They might not wick or anything, but at least they’re the right shape and they’re not slippery…(FYI, some of the shittier colors of the Fastest Track are on sale for as low as $18…)
Athleta Fastest Track
Athleta PR 2 Tank
Athleta Pure Tank
pretty-sweaty 