Hey this exists: Tony Horton Kitchen

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I just learned from Twitter that Tony Horton has a food delivery service. It’s called Tony Horton Kitchen. And if you’re in LA, some of the food is actually at 7-11. What???? Luckies.

http://www.tonyhortonkitchen.com/

If you’re wondering, yes, I have tried a food delivery service. I don’t remember which one, it was a while back. It was good food but it didn’t work for me. I basically took all the little pieces of cheese and chocolate you were allowed throughout the week and ate all of those first, and at once. I’m for shit at following food plans. And diets. And portions. And anything that puts discipline and food in the same room. BUT HEY, if you’re not a complete animal like me, go for it. Looks like good stuff. Like flexitarian options with wild-caught salmon¬†and grass-fed buffalo.

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August WorkOutFits

Confession: Yeah. So I’ve had a major energy problem this past month or so and haven’t been working out a ton. ūüė¶ I’ve been a lazy, carb-eating piece of shit. But like Fun says, “Carry oh-oh-oh-oh-onnn!” So I shall. I switched back to paleo and am feeling a bit more vital this past week, so…hopefully more of my workout pants will fit again soon. That’s why A. all tunics all the time and B. not many WorkOutFits to share. No work out = no WorkOutFit. I don’t take a picture every time I work out. But I promise, if I DO take a picture, that outfit got worked out in. So there’s that. I post WorkOutFits on instagram @iamaimeeschewe

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Athleta Breathe Tank top and Zella leggings.

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Old Navy Active top, LuluLemon leggings.

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Champion top, Lulu tank, Lulu leggings. Up24 fitness band.

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Champion top, Old Navy yoga pants. Borderline basic bitch gym outfit, I know. Like I said, I haven’t been feeling so hot.

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Lulu Lemon top, Nike leggings.

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Old Navy Active top, Zaggora hot pants. (they’re sauna pants. like in the 80s. Because i’m puffy, yo.)

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This was an Old Navy T-shirt that I cut and shredded.

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even MORE Old Navy. (top) Zella leggings. Shameful because I didn’t run that day. Or month.

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This was a Gap shirt to benefit Japan after the disaster. I bought it on principle. Then cut it, because it needed it.

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LuluLemon top, Old Navy capris.

 

My favorite tights: Chaturanga from Athleta

So, you know I have over 20 pairs of workout tights/capris/pants/leggings whatever you want to call ’ems. Anything dark, knee length, and thick enough not to show my cottage cheese, and high enough to hold in the muffin top, I like. But I think I just realized I have a favorite.

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I just got a fresh pair of Chaturanga capris from Athleta. I already have a full-length pair that I wear in the winter, which I love. And I just pulled these on and they’re just…so easy. So stretchy and forgiving and comfortable. I guess most of my capris are “performance fit” which means tight as hell so they squeeze you in and support your muscles and jiggly bits. So it is such a treat to pull on a pair and not feel like a sausage for once. I love you Chaturanga.

http://athleta.gap.com/browse/search.do?searchText=chaturanga

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Already had Chaturanga Odyssey Tights (looks like space dye in real life)…..Just got Chaturanga Stardust Capris. (looks like cheetah/snow leopard in real life)

Note: they are NOT thick, which I usually would not recommend. And they’re probably not great for running because they’re not performance-tight (which means they’ll probably slide down as you run). So I can’t recommend them for running. BUT I can recommend them for pretty much everything else. As long as you get a dark pair, preferably a pattern, you should be comfortable and camoflauged. Just like Imma be all friggin day in these puppies. Ahhh. Chaturanga.

They come in every length: shorties (tiny for you obnoxiously fit skinny minnies), shorts (not sure who, but if that’s your gig go for it) jammers (ditto. maybe under a skirt or something? it’s a mystery to me. but to each her own), capris and tights. In whatever pattern you could want, even crackly faux-leather and stripes. Bazam.

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How to wash your workout wear.

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OK. So. Now that you’ve ponied up 100 bucks for a schmancy high performing pair of workout pants, you need to take proper care of them to make them last.

Why? Because if you don’t, they will start to hold onto odor, they’ll stop wicking, and they’ll lose the perfect stretch and compression you paid so much for.

HOW should you wash athletic clothes? 

-In COLD water. (hot is bad for elastics)

-Only with other performance fabrics. Why? Because heavier/ rougher fabrics will beat up the sport fabric. Rough it up. Stretch it out. Cause it to pill.

-And HANG DRY. Before and after you wash. You should really hang your workout clothes up after you peel them off. Let the sweat evaporate, don’t throw them into your laundry pile all crumpled up and wet to fester and rot. Hang them to dry after washing, too. I am personally a hang dry-only freak. I hang dry everything except for sheets and towels. Because I¬†can’t handle the emotional damage that shrinking will cause. I’m dead serious about this. Do not wash my clothes. Beware the¬†wrath of the girl whose favorite whatever doesn’t fit anymore because it accidentally got thrown in the dryer.¬†You do not want to be on the receiving end of that torrent of uncut rage and tears.

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Don’t even aim a blow dryer at my shit. I will cut you.

WHAT kind of detergent should you wash your athletic clothes with? 

-POWDER not liquid. Why? Because you don’t want residue. Any residue stuck to the fibers will coat them and keep them from wicking.¬†You also don’t want fabric softeners or “optical brighteners” because they also coat fibers. ¬†So unfortunately, Woolite is out.

-This is also why “Tide plus Febreeze” or any regular wash that just adds an odor eliminator doesn’t cut it.

-Most “sports detergents” focus only on body oils and odor. Apparently, active wear really likes to become permanently stinky. Because body oils and stinks bond differently to synthetics than they do to cotton. I guess I’ve noticed that a little, but overall, I’m more concerned with keeping the wicking performance and elasticity. And I assume if a detergent is good enough to preserve elasticity, it’s probably already got the odor and body oils thing covered.

Even the most “sporty” sports detergents (Win, Sport Wash) are liquid. So despite their macho labels, high prices, and sports-store distribution, they’re totally not ideal for keeping the physical performance properties of the fibers in tact. WTF right? BUT. Good news…

There are a few powdered sports washes out there, Vapor Fresh Sports Laundry Detergent¬†(which is a good source of information, too) and Sports Suds. I haven’t tried either, but it seems like they should be good.

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I usually use Forever New. It comes in through the “fine garment care” door instead of the “odor eliminating” one. It’s for delicates and it says that it “preserves fiber flex” and “maintains elasticity.” I mean, if people wash their french lingerie in it, I trust it.

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Here, I’ve done the shopping for you!

Forever New: $14.50 for 32oz (16 washes)  on Amazon, prime eligible.

Vapor Fresh: $22 for 80oz (32 washes) + shipping on their site, same on Amazon, but prime eligible.

Sports Suds: $21 for 14oz (34 loads) through Amazon, prime eligible.

I was about to just order some more¬†Forever New,¬†but after doing this research for y’all it’s obvious that these other guys are cheaper per load,¬†so I’m going to try Vapor Fresh, too.¬†Although, I’m still not sold.¬† I don’t¬†trust¬†a detergent designed by a boy to eliminate stink to take care of lycra and preserve stretch as well as a lingerie detergent. Hmmm…¬†Either way, I’ve gotta stop using the Tide with Febreeze. My clothes just feel slimy. Bad news.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE¬†¬†The residue from liquid detergent is coating your washer too. So you’re supposed to clean it out by washing old towels in your new powdered detergent first. Not sure how this is going to work for me since we wash everything else in liquid…but…I guess we’ll just have to gradually switch from liquid to powder for everything. No reason not to.

Here’s what Sports Suds says about that:

http://www.sportsuds.com/First-Use-Information.html

So. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you you’re doing everything wrong. But now you know. And I learned some new stuff too. If it makes you feel better, I can’t do my stinky-ass laundry for a few days because I’m waiting for the¬†special detergents to get here…

 

 

New Brands and wanty wants: Nancy Rose, T&F Store, Splits 59

Good News: I’ve been working out a lot latey, loving boot camp and P90X3 and love/hating Dailey Method. Starting to see some results. So obviously I’m like “I want a new fancy cute top. I deserve it.”

Bad News: At this moment, budget says NO, STUPID!

That’s why I’ve been doing all the DIY shirt stuff lately. Also: I haven’t been using all of the (bright, cheap) ribbed tanks I have. They’re right there. As long as I do a little something something with my hair and a headband, I can still make a WorkOutFit out of them…But you know how it is. Women be shopping.

So let’s pretend for a minute. Gotta get it out of my system. Here are some new (to me) brands and some stuff I’m trying not to by. ūüôā Obviously first thought is LuluLemon. But, eh. Any rich housewife can get that. Athleta, I’ve got that covered. IF I were to go shopping right now, I’d try to find some less common stuff. And let me tell you, it’s totally out there!

T&F Store. (Track and Field Store) TFStore.us

Ever wonder¬†what the epically lovely looking Brazilians wear when they work out? You know, if they choose to, because they don’t have to because of their ridiculous genetics? Prolly this stuff. T&F store liked some of my Fitstagram Pics, so I checked them out. Super cute! Unfortunately, the only US store is in NYC. But I’ll bet there will be¬†more soon. And THEY’RE WELCOME TO SEND ME GORGEOUS WORK OUT WEAR IF THEY’RE READING THIS…;)

T&F Store Run Mist Leggings: panels. Moving lines. Pleathery shiny calves. Yes.

T&F run mist back T&F Run Mist

T&F Store Sky Fitness Shorts: GOLD. SHORTS. GOLD! Somebody with the legs to pull these off please, please get them. How can you not be¬†happy wearing or seeing these? They’re gooooolllld.

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SPLITS 59

I’m still irrationally in love with these Raquel Classic Flared pants from Splits 59. Probably because they’re the exact¬†opposite of what would look good on my body type. And the colors are great, uncommon, primary colors. The green online isn’t accurate. They’re a great kelly green in real life. All of my Daily Method instructors rock these and they look so strong and lean and dancer-y. Good for them. And for you if you can pull these off. Get it.

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The other brand I learned about through the shopping rack at Dailey Method is Nancy Rose Performance. I have a pair of capris: they’re cute, high quality fabric, and fit well. They’re a little lower cut than I like, but thanks to all of the functional strength training I’ve been doing, I can wear them now. With a baggy tunic, of course, let’s not get crazy. But at least it’s not muffin top town. ANYWAY: I finally looked them up and WOW.

Nancy Rose Performance = Flattering, ballet inspired design and high quality materials. You want a nice top? Mostly you can get a tight-ass tank that shows the rolls or (like me) a tunic that flips up in boot camp. Enter Nancy Rose: Tons of different shapes and cuts with flattering lines and wraps and peplums oh my! Form fitting, without being too form revealing. PERFECT.

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WHATTTT???? Stuff for apples and pears and beanpoles, not just instructor-shaped fitness professionals! So good. So easy to wear. Thank you for existing, Nancy Rose!

 

 

Gym Shirt DIY

Old Navy T-shirts make me sad. Real sad. I bought these V-necks a while back because I thought they’d be a cheaper version of my favorite American Apparel V-neck that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. But no. It’s all about the fit, and these fit as basic and sad as can be. So they deserve to die.

First I hit them with bleach and RIT dye. Then I took my Nike tank, which has a nice loose-ish long-ish fit, and used it as a template, and turned those stupid shirts that made me feel sad into easy to grab no-brainer, I know that will work gym tanks. I mean, why not? Nothing to lose.

I also tank-ified a Nike men’s T-shirt so now I might actually wear it. I just can’t do sleeves when I work out. Why?

1. I feel all constrained and claustrophobic and sweaty.

2.  I have pretty broad shoulders, so tanks help me look more balanced.

3. I’m not going to show my legs (like ever) and I like my arms, so bare arms, covered legs is my gig. Again. Balance.

 

 

Why I don’t miss sugar or wheat. And why you can’t be annoyed by that.

In the past, if you¬†told me “I just don’t eat¬†sweets”¬†I would hear “I’m a pretentious liar who can’t deal with the fact that I’m on a diet.”

Today, I would say “Really? Me too? Why? Do they make you sick?” and I’d talk to you for a half hour about inflammation and the politics of the food industry and stuff.

Today is the 100th day I have been off sugar. And of those 100 days, I only had bread once. It was inspired by the lady who documented her 100 days at the gym and Whole30. I had bigger plans, but my “Whole100” devolved¬†into just 100 days w/o sugar and wheat. I don’t care. Progress is progress and 100 days is game changer. A change has been made.

Sugar and wheat/bread/flour/whatevers make my whole body ache like I have the flu. After dinner EVERY DAY I would curl up and whine. Sometimes I’d take a bath to feel better. Like, multiple times a week. I have no idea why I accepted that existing meant feeling like crap for so long. I didn’t even think about it. I’m sure there are other things I’m doing to myself now that make me feel like crap that I should work on next. But my point is this: you can read all the books on sugar and wheat (I have) but until you have a powerful, meaningful reason to not eat them, they’re literally addictive drug-like things and they will make their way into your face. Once I realized that I felt like shit all the time, and it was their fault, making them go away was psychologically effortless.

Physically, there was a bit of effort. Yes, I went through the carb flu. And I felt like the walking dead. And no¬†I haven’t lost any weight despite not eating most carbs. (excuse me while I go have an¬†IT’S NOT FAIR!!! hissy fit…) But now that I’ve kicked the habit, I¬†just don’t want to go back to eating that shit that makes me feel like shit. Also, I don’t want to have to start at square one with the carb flu. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

People can talk about positive motivation all they want. You can say you’re working out “to be healthy” and I will still translate that statement in my head to “I’m working out to be thinner.” Sure they’re the same thing. But don’t bullshit me. “Healthy” and “Clean” and “Strong” are not concepts that motivate.

Negative motivation is more powerful. It’s real. It embraces what really matters to you, and that, my friend is what WILL GET YOU THERE.

So lets be a little more honest, OK?

I don’t eat non-produce carbs because they¬†make me feel like shit.

I’m working out because I don’t want my body to look and feel like it does.¬†I don’t want to be self-conscious, and hate getting dressed, and have a nervous breakdown when someone invites me to the beach. Basically, I don’t want to feel like shit.

Those thoughts get me moving. I am literally running away from the negative. “Better cardiovascular fitness” does not get me to put on a jog bra.

Why are you doing P90X? Because you don’t want to keep on taking “before” pictures.

Why are you running a marathon? Because you have something to prove.

Why are you going to boot camp? Because you can’t push yourself hard enough on your own.

Why are you lifting weights? Because¬†at some point someone made you feel weak. (Who can’t say that?) And you need to feel like you¬†can kick someone’s ass. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Or you’re going bald.

Why do I go to Dailey Method classes? Because my butt is sagging lower by the day and will soon reach my knees. And¬†the only way I’m going to workout hard enough to change that, is by¬†paying so much for class that I’ll feel like shit if I half-ass it.¬†(I have the Dailey Method¬†DVDs, but they lack this feature.)

So¬†if someone is honest enough to say “I’m going to spin because I feel fat” do them a favor. Don’t say “You’re not fat.” Say “That’s awesome. Do you like it?”

We’re all doing what we’re doing because in one way or another we don’t want to feel like shit. We’re motivated by the negative. And that’s a very positive thing.

 

May & June WorkOutFits

Here are some of my recent WorkOutFits. Apparently I like two things: neon pink, and black grey black. I could wear pink on top of black or grey on top of black all week, and not repeat an outfit. Some of these look like repeats, but I swear they’re not. ha! The yellow and purple is a total anomaly. But…pretty fun I must say.

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You’ll notice I wear mostly tunics. Because I’m a pear, and it just kind of grazes over my figure. I wear a regular tank top for boot camp, because they often have us on our hands and feet jumping around, so you don’t want your shirt to fly up. I should be wearing something snug in the middle to Dailey Method. But…that’s more of a fashion show scene, so I don’t care. I bring out the good tops for those classes.

I love capris and knickers. That’s all I wear. I have been rocking a baggy shirt tight pants look since I was 13. What works for your body works. Stick with it. Like Mr. Rodgers. Plus, capris and knickers are the most supportive, easy to move it, easy to forget about things there are. Maybe shorts work for you, great. Not me. Long pants? only in the winter. They feel too damn hot. Calf sweat? Ew. I dress like a football player. Just without all the terrible color choices and ugly graphics. And white pants. Seriously, they need to cut that out. I could really help the NFL with their styling. It would actually be a dream job, so if you work there, gimme a call. ūüôā Please. I mean it.

Wining About Off Weeks.

 

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Hello, lover.

I love wine. It tastes good. It’s relaxing. It’s pretty. It’s like consuming sunshine. I lived in San Francisco for almost ten years and I am all about California old style zinfandels. I love the whole “having a glass of wine” thing. And my favorite smell on earth is the barrel cellar in a vineyard. Liquor hits too hard and isn’t as delicious. Beer is totally fun but is pretty much like drinking bread so it’s kind of out. Wine is king.

So I’ve been doing my own quazi version of The Whole 30 for the last 80ish days. I called it the 100 Days of Healthy. No sweeteners, grains, soda, sugar, packaged food, beans, alcohol. It morphed to include soda, sweeteners and “cleaner” alcohols: tequila and vodka occasionally. Basically because if I didn’t give myself those, I was going to go off the rails and it was worth the compromise to keep moving forward. But I’ve stayed off of grains, sugar and beans completely for over 80 days. I literally do not want to eat grains or sugar at all. No need. So that’s really a great GREAT turn. Because grains and sugar cause inflammation in me and my whole body aches after I eat them. Like the flu. It’s super fun. So not wanting to eat them is a really good thing!

I’m starting a P90X3 Challenge next week, so I figured, close enough. I’ll take this week off before I buckle back down for another 90 days. Long story short: I’m eating whatever I want this week. (I still do not want grains or sugar.) Long story shorter: WINE!

I’ve missed it a ton. It’s 90% a habit thing. Having a treat at night. And I do really enjoy the taste. My first glass was like “oh sweet nectar of life I have missed you!!!” And it was really nice to REALLY taste it and APPRECIATE it because it was special. But I’ve been having wine all week, and I’ve learned some really good lessons.

TRUE FACTS ABOUT AN OFF WEEK

1. I feel like absolute shit. My stomach is burning. I’m extremely uncomfortable. My SWEATPANTS are tight in the waist. Bloated. Bags under the eyes. Puffy face. Total package!

2. Wine tastes good, but feels terrible pretty quickly. Namely, as soon as I finish my first glass. Headache. Uncomfortable. I feel poisoned. Wine is basically an instant hangover. Plus you get the tomorrow hangover too!

3. I’ve always known that wine is the worst as far as affecting your workout the next day. But now that I’m old old old, Wine = not sleeping. Not sleeping = not being able to do things, like function, work out, or walk around the block without shuffling like the walking dead.

4. One protein bar/ Atkins bar is not satisfying. A box of Atkins bars HURTS LIKE HELL. I knew that already, but apparently I have to keep on testing that one. Over and over and over.

5. I am not a person who can have nuts in the house because I am not a person who can not shove infinite amounts of crunchy, ready-to-eat things in my face. Ideal serving size = hand full. Actual Aimee serving size = all of them. It’s not even that I like nuts that much. It’s just the nom nom mindless shove it in my face hole enabling nature of them. ¬†Nuts = chips.

6. It’s going to take who knows how many days to get this out of my system and start feeling good again. And I can’t wait to start feeling good again.

7. Off weeks are no bueno. Off days, probably better. Off-something: you gotta do what you gotta do to stay sane and keep moving in general in the right direction. Off-anything will definitely teach you something useful and reinforce why you actually truly like eating right and working out.

Conclusion?

Off weeks are a terrible idea. You’re welcome.

And one good thing about getting older is: it’s easier to feel like crap, so it’s easier to actually really authentically want to eat well. So you don’t feel like crap.