ALO Yoga Goddess Leggings Review

December 18, 2015December 18, 2015 / Aimee / 4 Comments

Yeah, baby! Goddess leggings! Much ballerina. So cutes.

The first time I saw a pair of ALO Yoga’s Goddess Leggings was on the retail rack in the lobby of my local Dailey Method studio… I gasped. So pretty! So new! Such quality! And then I looked at the price tag… I snorted. So expensive! So not something I’m going to buy! And then I saw them on the body of one of my Dailey Method instructors (read: someone who’s paid to be thin and ripped) and …I sighed. So only-made-for-the skinnies! So not for me! Wah wah.

But then, they went on sale this holiday shopping season and I was like, $60? WHAT? I have to give ’em a shot. Maybe every single one of my instincts is wrong! Maybe I can wear them!

They are as nice as they look. The fabric is thick (doesn’t show cellulite), and it holds you in without sausage-ing you, and it wicks and breathes and all of that. The leg warmer part is stretchy and doesn’t itch or get in your way at all. The waist is a little low for me, at least at my current level of fluffiness, but I think the rise is pretty typical for any pant that’s not labeled as high waisted.

And, not for nothing, the packaging was really nice too. Even the tag is printed with a rubbery coating on the paper that makes it feel nice. Details, man. Details.

But the big question: can a pear with thick-ass thighs pull these off? Let’s consult my magic skinny mirror selfies. (This mirror stretches things vertically ala Paula Abdul’s Promise of a New Day video. I use it so I don’t cry.)

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From the side? Sure. Maybe. But you can’t deny that there’s a horizontal line running around said thick-ass thigh. Red flag, right there, y’all.

Oh shit. There’s the truth. You can get away with almost anything from the side. You can convince yourself of something from the front. But there’s no lying from the back. That horizontal line stops the eye and makes it bounce around in the ass-u-lar area. If I was wearing all black, the eye would just skim down all the way to the ground. I might think “Fuck. I’ve got some work to do.” But I wouldn’t think “Holy fuck, I’m wearing 30 pounds of extra ass alone. AAAA!” Both are true. But the first thought is only upsetting enough to be motivating. The second thought can make me crumble into a self-hating pile. THIS IS WHY WHAT YOU WEAR MATTERS, PEOPLE. Your workout clothes need to give you confidence and make you feel capable. But the wrong ones can make you think your worst thoughts. Dress for success, not for sadness.

SO. The leggings are great. They’re high quality. And if I don’t look at myself from the back, they kind of make me feel all dancer-y, which motivates me to have even better form when doing barre shit. BUT, I don’t think I’ll be wearing them in public for a while. They’re not the best style for my body type.

Long story short:

ALO Goddess Leggings: if you have below-the-waist thickness, wear them at your own risk. If you have a thigh gap, first of all fuck you. Second of all congratulations. Bitch. And third, yes, you can absolutely wear them and you’re going to look fucking amazing in them. Grrrrr.

OMG ALO GODDESS LEGGINGS ON SALE!

November 30, 2015November 30, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

ALO is the brand that makes these leg warmer leggings, called the Goddess, which I have been coveting for the last two years.
You can get 30% off online right now/ only until tomorrow/ cyber Monday, when they’ll be having a different sale. Code AYB30.
I’m ordering a pair, even though for two years I’ve been saying “no, dumbass, those are going to look hella turrble on your thick ass thighs.” I’ll let you know how it goes. Could be a nice surprise. Or, really really funny.

4. Speaking of funny, the best part about these might be this:

5. hahahahahahahahahahaha! kiss my ass.

EXP Core Review (Fitness fashion from Express)

October 29, 2015February 25, 2016 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Hey, guess who else has a new fitness wear line. Express. Yep, that Express. It’s called EXP Core Performance, and they sent me an outfit to review, so I happily shall. Someone wants to send me clothes? YAASSS!

Hello, EXP Core Performance.

What they have: Workout Clothes for Women. A whole line of workout leggings, workout tops, sports bras, and jackets.They say they’re “sexy, stylish, and built for maximum performance.” Oh. You wanna go after VSX Victoria’s Secret Sport? Ok. I hear you. Go for it.

They let me pick out from a selection of a few different pants and tops, and I chose these leggings because 1. I have too many crops right now and 2. HOLY SHIT CRAZY BUTTERFLY PATTERN I LOVE IT. And I chose the black top, obviously, because that’s what I wear. Black tops. And the lovely folks at EXP Core Performance sent me a sports bra to wear under it, too. Sweet! $Outfit math exp$

The workout leggings kind of rule. Ombre Animal Print EXP Core Compression Legging $69.90. And I’m not just saying that because I didn’t have to pay for them. The pattern is really fun, and it’s the first big, all-over pattern like this that has been flattering on my shape. ( Pear / T-Rex / Thunder-thighs.) The white at the bottom definitely helps because white looks bigger, so the effect is almost the same as if I were wearing bootcut/flared yoga pants. They balance out the thunder thighs. And the pattern at the top (read: the pattern across my ass) is dark and keeps the eye moving, so we’re good there, too. The only drawback is that this fabric is white with a print on it, so the inside of the pants are white, which means when the fabric stretches, it gets lighter because you’re seeing a little bit of that white come through. The black becomes dark grey when it is stretched across my thighs. So. Shopping tip: pay attention to the color of the inside of your workout pants. It’s not a deal breaker in this case, though. I think they still look good. FullSizeRender_2

But more importantly, they make me feel good. I feel like an olympic skier in them. They are edgy and obnoxious and you can’t really wear them and sit on the couch, because look at them! They are ACTION PANTS MADE FOR ACTION! Right?

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The tech and specs:

Fabric: They’re a slippery, almost bathing suit-type material, like Onzie leggings. Which means they wick well, and you could probably use them for bikram yoga or even swimming if you wanted to. Surfing? Maybe. But only if you get them really tight. There’s no drawstring. The fabric is not thick, and that’s usually a deal breaker for me, because: cellulite. But the pattern does the camouflaging that I usually count on a thicker fabric to do, so NBD.

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Fit: They have a high rise with a wide waistband, so that’s perfect. Everybody seems to be catching on to that now. As they should be. There’s no reason for anybody to have to have a muffin top. Hooray progress! Also, there’s a waistband key pocket, which is mandatory. I’m between sizes right now, so I ordered the higher size. So they’re not “performance” tight on me. (Except for on the thighs because everything is.) But despite that, they didn’t slide down during a long walk, and they stayed in place pretty well during burpees and bouncing in a HIIT workout.

I’m impressed, Express. These are thoughtfully designed. Respect.

The workout top is a soft, drapey cotton. Black EXP Core Strappy Tank $34.90. It’s loose enough and long enough, with some showy interest in the back. What more could you want? You might think “eh, it’s fine” when you look at it online, but it’s the kind of easy-to-wear piece you (I) will probably reach for first again and again. No brainer.

The sports bra looks basic at first sight, too. (Mesh Back EXP Core Sports Bra $49) But the material actually has an almost shiny, leather-look, so it’s different and edgy, without being slutty. The scoop of the neck and the width of the straps are flattering. It’s not too low cut, and it covers the upper boob/ armpit fat. They know what they’re doing over there. And you know I don’t say that shit lightly. Of course, this is a “for looks” bra, not a “for running” bra. There’s no padding, and no special support structure. But it’s pretty slick looking. Oh yeah, and the back has mesh panels, too. FullSizeRender_3

EVERYTHING I got was thoughtfully designed. I’m pleasantly surprised, and actually pretty stoked. This EXP stuff is really flattering. For real.

EXP photo with notes

Seriously, you guys. When I saw Express in my email, I thought “I have not even looked in the window of that store since college.” And I’m 38. I shouldn’t be in there. But workout wear is for everybody, and EXP Core is a nice find. And you can order online so you don’t have to go in there and stand next to a size 00 seventeen year-old who hasn’t even put on her beer weight yet.

Thumbs up for EXP Core.

I see you, New Balance.

October 15, 2015October 15, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Free People Fit. It’s a thing.

September 22, 2015September 21, 2015 / Aimee / 1 Comment

Hey.

So. Free People. They’re part of the Urban Outfitters / Anthropologie / BHLDN world. I used to think it was “overpriced boho festival wear that only looks good on skeletons.” Then when I was pregnant, I found their trapeze tops and duster-length cardigans to be quite useful. I pretty much only wore three things, and all three things were from Free People. So I’m no longer a hater. Of course, I only pay attention to like 5% of what they make. But still. If you’ve got something for me, I’m “for” you.

And now they have a fitness fashion line, so obviously, we’re checking that out immediately:

FP Fit = Free People’s fitness line

First thing I notice is this. The Shredded Tee. 1. Because it’s the big trapeze shape I know them for, and 2. Because I can shred my own damn tee shirt. And have. Also, a shirt that shredded is immediately going to get caught in your cardio machine, but whatever. Style points.

These Turnout Leggings seem to be their iconic item. Pretty in the ballet-type colors. How those laces stay in place when you move…? I dunno.

BTW, I love the New Balances in this shot. They have some great new colorways this season. So, props to Free People’s buyer for snapping up some good ones. More on those later.

Now: haterade.

If you can workout in this, you can also kiss my ass.

And this? The “Be More” Knotted Tee? Tee hee. All I see is “Be more…skinny! Be more! But take up less space.” Shut up, $48 tee shirt that can’t be worn without baring abs. Go away now. Buh Bye.

$28 tiny fanny pack. Hilarious.

And this is the best.

I shit you not, they’re selling this as a $16 HAIR TIE HOLDER. Sorry, Hair Tie Travel Pod. Yes. When wrists, pockets, and pretty much anything that holds anything doesn’t work anymore, HAIR TIE TRAVEL POD to the rescue. You know what the problem with hair ties is? They take up no space and you can carry them everywhere without carrying anything. Terrible! Finally. Free People brings you a way to make something that is so small, light, and wearable that it’s practically not an actual physical thing, take up space and have to be placed IN a THING that you have to place in another thing. I fucking love those ballsy assholes over there. Hoo! Always good for a laugh. They make my day.

The Derek Lam 10C Athleta Collaboration is here!

September 11, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Yes. Of course I know there’s a Derek Lam / Athleta collab. Of course I do!!!!

And I was super excited because I buy tons of Athleta. SUPER EXCITED I SAY!!!

Until I saw it.

WAH WAH.

Here, you can judge for yourself: http://athleta.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=1038258&mlink=46650,10188358,HP_DL_Main_9_9&clink=10188358

But I think it’s a little basic and boring. And it sometimes makes the model look like a court jester or a character on Star Trek or someone from a really old Old Navy shoot. Not simple and chic. Sigh. These here are the pieces I do like (below). But you’ve been able to find leather joggers (If you wanted to) for a few years now, so…*yawn*. Maybe they’ll do it again and the next collection will be better. Sorry Derek Lam. Love you. But not this. 😦

This is the good….

And this is the bad and the ugly…I mean, I get that the color blocking on the tanks is meant to follow that of a sports bra, and that’s good and flattering, and I get that the vertical stripe is there so it’s not just a baby doll color blocking situation. But something about it just falls really frat boy from the 80s-flat. I wish I didn’t feel that way. It’s much better on the tighter tops.(see below).

And I’m not sure how I feel about these. The location of the bust line feels fresher on these… And the cut is good ….

But still, grey and white are kind of the two worst colors to use for active wear because white will show your nip-nips and grey shows sweat in less than one second. Hey, Athleta! I know things! Maybe we should do a collab… 🙂

Pretend Shopping Spree: Olympia Activewear

September 9, 2015September 9, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Olympia Activewear: the coolest sports bras in town by a San Francisco-based designer. Good job, Ms. Kaili Lickle.

Let’s pretend for a second that my boobs aren’t “I have a baby”-sized. And while we’re at it, let’s pretend that my ass isn’t “I have a new baby”-sized either. Here’s what I’d love to wear from Olympia.

Tough, hardcore and beautiful. Perfect.

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Sporty with a sophisticated softness. Perfect.

Awesome details on the waistbands and knees.

Perfect proportions on the trim of the shorts and where the calf fabric starts on the leggings.

And then this is actually something I could wear IRL.

Also, cute headband. 🙂

Love love love the Olympia.

New Protein Yums! Brand review: MyProtein

August 12, 2015August 13, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Long story short: There’s a new protein source in town. It’s called MyProtein. And it is good. If all you need is a thumbs up or thumbs down, then THUMBS UP, I say. Their shop is here. And right now you can get 20% off of all protein powders with code POWDER. You’re welcome! MyProtein.com

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Here’s my review:

I have a new baby. I don’t have time. And I’m tired. So my way of getting protein lately (other than a steady stream of grocery store rotisserie chickens) has been eating box after box of protein bars. But I can’t be trusted around those things. A box might last me a week. Or I might take down six bars in a sitting BECAUSE THEY’RE CANDY.

So the other day, while my brain and my finger were fighting over whether or not I should push the “Buy another box of protein bars with 1 click” button on Amazon Prime (on my phone, while feeding the kid), a miracle happened!

Someone from MyProtein contacted me and asked if I’d do a review if they sent me some food stuffs to put in my face. Um. HELL YES I’ll do a review! Perfect timing, psychic angel person from MyProtein! Boom.

Here we go:

MyProtein is a new company, they’re from the UK and distributed in the US from Aurora, Illinois. Of Wayne’s World fame. And a half hour from where I live. (Yay, quick shipping!)

They make protein powders and shakes and supplements and even some gear. The protein products are all low-carb, sugar-free, etc. They also make jerky and peanut butter and snacks, so it’s kind of a no-brainer one stop-shop for quick protein stuff. And I’ve just about reached the maximum number of rotisserie chickens one person should consume in a lifetime, so, YES YES PERFECT THANK YOU! Quick protein!

They sent me some shakes (delicious), some peanut butter (perfect), some jerky (gone in 60 seconds), and some Omega 3 (haven’t touched it yet because I’m still taking plenty of for-the-baby vitamins).

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First of all, points for clean design. A lot of protein/ supplement brands look like a ‘roided up fire monster mated with NASCAR (aka: MMA) or they’re so girlie they look like they belong in the barbie shampoo section. MyProtein products look like they don’t think you’re an idiot. So thanks for that.

Here’s what I got and what I thought:

MyProtein Beef Jerky (original flavor):

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This is the first thing I opened. And by that I mean I ate it immediately after opening my box of goodies from them, because jerky. It was tasty, not too sweet, and fresh.

I also got single packet samples of flavored whey protein powder.

–Strawberry: Yum. Tastes like Strawberry Quick.

–Cookies and Cream: A little more “cream” than cookie. Think of it as Double Stuf Oreo flavor.

–Salted Caramel: Brilliant idea!!! Tastes like Kraft Caramels. The cubes with the cellophane wrappers from childhood? You know what I’m talking about. Anyway, it’s not super sea-salty. But I’d just add salt to my smoothie to get it there. Yum.

–Chocolate Peanut Butter: also tasty. Not fake-y.

But the part I was most pleasantly surprised with? The shaker. Seriously.

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I hate shakers. They’re awkward to drink out of and they’re big and cluttery. But this one has a spout and it is easy to drink out of. This one I will not throw away. They seem to know what they’re doing, these MyProtein people.

And then, their Peanut Butter. Guess what’s in it? Peanuts. That’s it. No sugar. No salt. No extra oils. No weird things to keep it at an unnatural consistency. Just a big jug of QUICK PROTEIN STRAIGHT FROM THE EARTH! Usually I can’t keep peanut butter in the house because I’ll eat half a jar in a day. Or an afternoon. But this stuff, because it’s not sweet or salty, you eat what you actually need, and then you’re like, “OK. I’m good.” And you get on with your life. Also, it doesn’t separate much. So, bonus.

They also have this cool thing where you can get plain whey protein, but then buy flavor drops instead of having a huge jug of one flavor. Great idea, right?

Overall: I’m impressed. I like the stuff. And I’m ordering more.

MyProtein. Check em out: MyProtein.com

Buy me brunch is the shit.

July 22, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

I fucking love these assholes. BuyMeBrunch.com

Calia by Carrie Underwood

July 13, 2015 / Aimee / Leave a comment

Hey, Aimee, have you heard of Calia by Carrie Underwood?

Yes, of course I have! I pretend-shop for all the workout clothes all the time. Duh. But I haven’t written about it yet because 1. I’ve been busy with the newborn and 2. I checked it out a while back and my take was “Eh. It’s ok. But I’ve seen it all before.” However, it is sort of a big deal: it’s lovely-ish fitness stuff that’s more affordable than Lulu and very accessible. So OK. Fine, Carrie Underwood. Here you go.

Get it, girl.

Calia by Carrie is a fitness apparel line by Carrie Underwood for Dick’s Sporting Goods. Dick’s is like Sports Authority but nicer. Carrie Underwood is known for American Idol, songs about Jesus and slashing tires, big blonde hair, lots of eye makeup, and really great legs.

She’s a vegetarian and often a vegan. She works out a lot. She tours a lot. (See legs.) She married some hockey player and just had a baby around the same time I did. And yes, of course, she’s already rocking a mini dress. (LEGS.)

Post-Baby Carrie

But she’s a celebrity and I’m not, so let’s not compare because I don’t have a staff or a tour or mini dresses to get back into. But lets do be happy that her waist looks (a teeny bit) thicker, as it should, and lets feel better about ourselves (me) that our (my) midsection is still thick four months after baby because 1. I haven’t been able to work out and 2. even Miss Carrie, who can and does, still has it. SWEET!! But lets also give much respect to the legs. THE LEGS. Bless your Barbie-worshiping, singing about Jesus driving metaphorical cars-heart. THE LEGS! Well done, woman.

She built those legs. She did the “soft teen turns into tiny, ripped, mini-dress rocking super-star” transformation thing that happens a lot with Idol Alumnae (Katharine McPhee, Jennifer Hudson), so I say she is qualified to venture into fitness fashion. And everyone knows country = money, so congratulations, Dick’s Sporting Goods, for jumping on that obvious money train. (Darius Rucker, Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow, Republicans, etc. etc. etc.)

Calia by Carrie Underwood lives here caliastudio.com and the Dick’s site is here. I have no problem with her #staythepath / work in working out / the gym is where you are-type messaging. Totally authentic to what she does, having to train while touring and all. The ads look nice and the pink wash matches the color pallette of the line. Oh wait, I’m not supposed to be a Creative Director right now, I’m supposed to be a fashion blogger. Sorry, I’m both. Once a MadWoman always a MadWoman.

The Clothes

Calia Tops are $30-50-ish. Sweaters are more like $80. Every single piece is something you can find somewhere else: rouched tanks, cocoon cardigans, batwing sweaters, etc. You know, basic, sort of pretty stuff. Which is why I got that meh feeling back when I first checked it out. It’s nothing innovative. It’s nothing new. It’s just a “you gotta have one of each of these kind of pieces because they sell” kind of a thing. Which is exactly appropriate. I guess. But if I had the opportunity to create a line, I’d want to try and introduce at least one iconic piece that had something interesting or different or risky going on. (Like Stella McCartney for adidas, with the chest straps.) She probably couldn’t, even if she wanted to. Big business. Blah blah blah. But that’s how I feel about it. It’s perfectly safe.

Bottoms are $40ish for shorts, $65ish for tights and capris, and they’re so boring they just put me to sleep scrolling through them. Except these. These are kind of interesting. And props for the proportions and flattering seam-lines and wide waist band (good for muffin tops).

Calia by Carrie Essential Tight Fit Printed Capris $65

Calia by Carrie Essential Tight Fit Printed Capris $65

Also, there’s just so much heather grey. I love grey. More than people. But heather grey is the worst color for workout pants because it’s super bump-showy and sweat-showy.

There are also some bras, accessories and panties. The balconette bra is interesting, and the accessories are pretty enough. They’re just not necessary. Does Carrie Underwood need to make a yoga mat and a yoga block and a head band (nay, 5 different kinds of headbands) AND underpants? If I have my branding hat on, I say just do a few new things instead of doing everything. Even if everything is great, it’s too much to absorb right off the bat.

Calia by Carrie Inner Power Heathered Balconette Bra $41

Calia by Carrie Inner Power Heathered Balconette Bra $41

That being said, I kind of like the fruit infusion water bottle and would totally try the toeless grip socks for Dailey Method, despite the creepy mannequin foot model. Dailey Method socks always slip off of me. Aaaaand I have tingers. Toeless socks are worth a shot. And shit, two pairs for $10 is great. Imma order some of those right now. Carrie wins again.